Prihatur Setyo Putra
“Your place looks like a shipwreck”
“Thanks for pointing that out. Now what?”
“Sheesh. I’m glad you called. You are starting to look like a worn-out Javanese Steve Buscemi, if that makes any sense. Do you want advice? Take shower. Go outside. Find yourself a place to write your feelings and thoughts down on a sheet of paper. Anywhere but here, man. Anywhere but here.”
“Anywhere but here.”
November 27, 2017
Last night, my best friend who was concerned gave me an advice. She talked a lot that night. Just like you, when we had our first all-night-long chatter in my place, remember? You practically didn’t give me any chance to talk. Since. Well. I didn’t want to interrupt you. Your facial expression was stunning when you were talking about things you like. Such as dogs, rom-com movies, and Frank Ocean. You love them.
You see. She said that it will be easier to forget you if I write down my thoughts and feelings concerning you. But the more I write about you, well, you know the rest. I know. How cliché this guy must be, right? Even the strong smell from this coffee shop couldn’t hide the fact that your figure is flying around in every inch of my body so vividly.
Since I want to forget you, including your name, from now on I’ll call you as Katrina. I named you after the most destructive hurricane to ever hit the United States. You see, it did more damage than any other natural disaster in the U.S history. It did. However, Frank Ocean who lived in Florida at the time survived the hurricane. Several years later, he became your favorite musician. Several years later, “Thinkin Bout You” became our favorite song.
I wonder if my best friend’s advice would work since you keep popping up on my head as I continue to write this. I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t know but I’m trying. What I know is: my best friend has never been destroyed by a storm. Meanwhile, I just have.
Perhaps I should write bad things about you?
As much as I loved the adrenaline rushes and the uncertainties, everything in our so-called relationship was a game to please yourself. You said it yourself, remember? You liked the attention. However, I wasn’t aware that you were there solely for the attention. You toyed with my emotions because you were unsure of yourself, weren’t you? You could have said: “no, I wasn’t interested”. Yet you did the opposite since you craved attention. It took a lot to loosen your insecurities, huh? Even you need more than one significant other. You only cared for yourself. You relied on others for your self-worth and sadly I was an easy target. Such an easy one, even my best friend wondered if I was bewitched.
Perhaps she was right since I have not prayed in a while.
So that was a little story on how my self-esteem hit the lowest point. However, I kept telling myself Frank Ocean story. After hurricane Katrina hit Frank Ocean’s hometown, he moved to LA to chase his dream of being a musician. And he succeeded. Hopefully, he and I have the same luck because amidst the wreckage, there is also hope for new beginnings, no?
Word Count: 550
The illustration was taken from http://joelkimmel.com/2015/09/11/espn-hurricane-katrina-10-year-anniversary/