People say that high school is the best years of life, and I totally agree. For two years I was being a secret admirer of the most beautiful girl in my school whose smile as sweet as sugar in the giant jar. Her name is Bianca, one of my classmate. Whenever she stared at me I felt like thousand stars stroked my heart. I loved her, so did she. I could see that from the way she looked and spoke to me. But I could do nothing. Romance isn’t my thing, even though I want it. It is said that a man and a woman are not allowed to be alone together, and any physical contact before marriage is forbidden. Hence, dating is not permitted in my religion. I couldn’t fight those feeling. Perhaps that was my biggest dilemma for seventeen years of life.
Night was coming, letting some confusions laid awake in my mind. In the last third of that night, as I prostrating on the rug with my forehead, nose, and palms on the floor and my elbows raised, I called her name three times in a row hoping I could get the answer of my feeling.
The next day, I sat in the canteen corner sipping orange juice. Bianca came and sat beside me. I could see the smooth white thighs while she crossing her legs. The curves of her body shows the perfection, It’s really make my testosterone drove well. I couldn’t bear holding back my feeling.
“OK! I’m so done with all of this, I should tell her what I feel!” I mumbled.
“Nope, are you free this evening? I have something to say”
“Tomorrow morning, please!?”
Time flew so fast; we were in Bukit Unggul enjoying the scenery. My heart was beating faster. Evidently, my faith is not as strong as my love for her.
“Bianca, do you have a boyfriend?”
” Nope, I am waiting for a boy. He is the one whose smile can warm my lonely night”. She looked deeply into my eyes.
“Maybe it was your eyes, or your smile, it could’ve been your voice, or your personality. Whatever it was, it made me fall pretty damn hard. I love you!”
I could see her eyes shimmered with tears of happiness. “I love you too, Jeff! I really do. But I know how religious you are, and I am not. My father is a drunkard, I cannot read Al-Quran well, I haven’t ready to cover my aurat yet. Could we be lovers?” she asked desperately.
“If loving you is wrong; I don’t want to be right at this moment.”.
She picked two dandelions, closed her eyes, and blew the seed into the air. “They will be together till penetrated up the sky”
“Kiss me, then! Just once.”.
“For the first and the last time”, she added.
Then I let her hand stroked my hair. We made intimate eye contact, then close ours. I kissed her lips, opening her mouth slightly, then intertwining her lips and mine. Such a pleasure.
“I love you” she whispered and closed her eyes till they couldn’t be opened again.
Damn! She was gone. I could not hold back my tears. Just like the dandelions, I hoped we will be together travelling back in time.
Photo by: Marzha Rezqyta