A friend of mine once told me, there is a way to tell if a guy is an asshole, that is if he has ever said “ Don’t you overthink our relationship. What matters is that we are both happy now.” I totally agree with him, because Jay is just the one who always says stuff like this to fool the girls.
Jay is a schoolmate of mine. We hang out a lot. He is the most experienced about girls among my friends. He is also willing to share his tricks of how to hook up with girls, to sleep with them or to dump them. I know this is immoral, but we are all obsessed with this kind of immorality at the age of twenties. It’s 21st century, nobody is serious about love.
Jay has an apartment near our college. He once invited me to hang out in his apartment. I was surprised of the size of his apartment the moment I walked in . There is only a bed, a table and a bathroom in his apartment. I bet his room is no bigger than ten square meters.
“So… You don’t even have a chair?” I asked.
“Of course. So that girls will have to sit on my bed.” he answered.
In the drawer of his table, I found a box of condoms, makeup remover, cotton pads. Apparently Jay is always prepared to have girls to sleep over at his apartment. And I also found some hair bands that i have no idea what for.
“Girls need this to tie their hair up when taking a shower.” Jay answered.
Again, I have to say Jay is totally an insider when it comes to girls.
I’m not sure if Jay will ever “love” some one, but I still tend to ask for his advice when I have troubles in a relationship.
He once taught me a little trick.
“If a girl has the hiccups, you may tell her that I know a way to stop your hiccups. And the girl will definitely ask you to show her the way. Then you may tell her to point a finger on the ear. The girl will do so. Next you may tell her to close her eyes. She will do so as well. Now you can kiss her.”
I had to admit this was a good trick,“ But, what if she pushes you away?”
“ Then you should say ‘ See? I stopped your hiccups.’ ” Jay answered, with proud.
One of my friend has got his girlfriend with this trick. I’m not surprised that all the boys look up to him. He’s the leader among his friends.
Jay always has several girlfriends at the same time. According to Jay, one should never put all his eggs in one basket , because you would never know if a girl will stop leave you in a sudden.
“ what if your girl finds out and ask you about it?” I asked.
“ Then I will tell her ‘ Don’t overthink. Aren’t we happy now?’ ”
What an asshole!
Jay has had so many girlfriends that, for Jay, girls are no longer to love, but questions to solve. When Jay looks at a girl, he will not think if he loves her, but how to sleep with her. However, Jay said he has already tired of this game. He is actually looking for a girl that is similar with F.
Who is this F? F is the question that Jay was not able to solve. F is not that pretty, compared to his other girlfriends, but Jay just can’t get over her. He falls in love with her at his first sight, for no reason. I guess maybe true love always occurs for no reason.
Jay got to know F at their first year in college, but they didn’t get together until their junior year. F turned down Jay because she thought he was too childish. Men loves 20-year-old girls, but 20-year-old boys can only love girls who are 20,19,or 18 years old. Unfortunately, girls are always more mature than boy who are at the same age. Jay is also no exception. We guess F is the reason why Jay was so eager to get experienced about girls. F went to Canada for an exchange program the second year she turned down Jay, which was a good news for Jay. He got plenty time to practice how to get alone with girls and how to be more mature. When F returned from Canada a year later, Jay finally got her. They really had a good time then. When Jay thought he could finally settle down, F broke up with him. F told Jay that she has to go back to Canada for college, because her ex-boyfriend is in Canada and she still loves her ex. We all know F was never serious about Jay. He was the only one that believed F loved him.
The day F dumped Jay, he swore he wouldn’t put all his eggs in one basket any more. He didn’t realize that all his eggs were already broken like his heart the day F left. What he would put into different baskets were just stones.
I didn’t know if Jay ever loved anyone after dumped by F. Even Jay himself had no idea either.
There was only once when Jay was pretty sure he was in love. Let’s call the girl E. Jay said E was just the girl that he is always looking for. She is so similar with F.
According to Jay, E is the same age of F. They both study overseas, F in Toronto, E in Singapore. And the most importantly, their face are just the same. I was really shocked when Jay showed me her picture. “You call this fucking the same?” But Jay still insisted they look so similar.
It was December when E came back to Shanghai for winter holiday and met Jay. Jay flipped. He used every trick he knows and finally got E into his bed in his tiny apartment. He hugged her from her back that night and he found himself fall in love again.
I know Jay was afraid that he would finally get over F and love another girl. So he told himself E was similar with F. He wants to get rid of F, but at the same time he wants to get trapped by F too. I just didn’t know why he tortured himself like this.
After that night, he always tried to ask E to date with him, to have dinner, to go to a night club, or to go to a museum. In most cases E didn’t show up. But Jay kept saying that E was just too busy doing other stuff. Sometimes E would call Jay the next day to apologize and make up some excuses to explain why she didn’t show up. Jay told us about this: “ See? She cares about me, she even called to apologize!” We tried to tell Jay don’t be so serious about E, because everyone can tell E was just goofing around with Jay ,except for himself.
Weeks later, it was almost the new year eve. Jay asked E if she would like to go to his friend’s new year eve party with him. E said: “ I’ll see then.”, just like what she said every time Jay asked her out. She wouldn’t say yes, but she wouldn’t say no either. After the night she slept with Jay, she still went out for parties ever night. Jay didn’t even know where she went, who she went out with, or when did she sleep. Jay was heartbroken, but he didn’t know what to do. All Jay did these days was to listen to “where did you sleep last night” by Nirvana and thought about her. 31st December, E called and said she would like to go to that party with Jay. Jay was excited: “ She finally picked! I know she cares!”
That new year eve was a mess. Jay was totally wasted. In fact no one was sober at last. E did come. But the last thing Jay remembered was that E left the party with a guy he barely knew. Maybe E was likely to go home with Jay if he wasn’t that drunk. After all, she didn’t have the responsibility to take care of Jay who was just nobody to her.
At last, my friends and I took Jay home.
“ Man,you should forget E. She is just fooling around with you.” I tried to comforting Jay.
“ The first night F slept over at my place,” Jay ignored my words, “ she asked me if I have hair bands. She needed to tie her hair up when taking a shower. So I went out and bought some for her. She said ‘if you bring girls home, they will definitely need this. You’re welcome.’ ”
“ Well…” I didn’t know what to say.
“ And the night E sleep over at my home,” he continued, “ She told me ‘girls always like being hugged from the back. You can try this if you want girls to love you more. You’re welcome.’ Maybe this is the moment I felt she was just like F.”
I suddenly felt so sad for Jay and all his relationships he had. When he goofs around, he can always get the girl he wants by his little tricks. But once he is ready to love someone with all his heart, he suffers and lose the one he really cares. Is it what the “love” like in 21st century?
Days later, E asked Jay out to have dinner. She apologized for her leaving at that night. She said she was drunk and she didn’t had sex with that guy.
And E started to have hiccups. She said: “ I hate hiccups.”
Jay smiled: “ I know a way to stop your hiccups.”
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