Puan Maharani / 180410150068
It’s 16 January 2017, I’m going to meet someone today.
7 years ago I met someone who changed my life. Actually it’s not really changed my entire life, it only changed my perspective about the world. I still remember everything clearly, the day when stranger add my Facebook account and want to make a friend with me. At that time the only thing that made me still curious is “why I accept stranger to my Facebook account?” but I’m still in Junior high school at that time. I only think about making friend. More friend request made me feel like I’m famous, yeah remember I’m still in Junior high school tho. Don’t judge me. Even my mother didn’t know about my Facebook account at that time. My mother though social media is a bad idea. There are a lot of Pedophile in there and a lot of negative peoples who want to kidnap me or something like that. However it will never stop me to do something that I like but I know I need to be careful with social media right now.
Back to the topic let’s talk about the one who ‘changed’ me. This guy is Shade. He didn’t use his face as a profile picture however he put Patrick Star as a profile picture. You know, Patrick star is a friend of Spongebob Squarepants and that time I though “okay this guy who send me a friend request must be really childish”. Who want to put Patrick as a profile picture? But I don’t know why I’m still accepted his request. Yup and it’s all begin.
Shade is a friend of my classmates, Feza. I asked Feza everything about that guy because I still need to beware. How if he’s not Feza’s friend? How if he is a Pedophile that my mom talks about? How if he….I don’ know I just need to find more about him because after I accepted his friend request he immediately chat me. Why I know he is Feza’s friend? Because his first chat to me is “Do you know Feza?” and I only reply with “Y”
Actually Feza told me that he such a friendly person. No wonder he acted like that to me, even I answered him only with one word.
That unnecessary conversation continued and I met him for the first time. It’s not a date because I asked my friend to join with us and also he asked his friend to accompany him. It’s not going well. I ended up spilled out my coke into his shirt. I don’t know how to say it really embarrassing! But, he still contact me even I made that big mistake.
“Are you okay?” he chatted me first
“Why I supposed to be not okay?”
“Uhm, nothing. I just though you’re not okay”
That’s made me more ashamed with my self.
But he never stop contacts me. Day by day, month to month and year to year I get to know him more and more. There was a time when we are really closed and also there was a time when both of us acted like a stranger. You know, it’s natural. Sometimes I think I only make him as my friend but in the other day I need him as my brother.
One day Shade asked me about my feeling
“Don’t you think we missed something?” He asked me bravely
“What is it?”
Then he gave me a tissue and it writes something. It says “together?”
I’m so stupid at that time. I though he want to marry me!
“What do you mean? We’re still in school?”
“Oh my God, what a slow person. I mean be my girlfriend!”
then I laugh very hard, I almost forgot that I’m in Mcdonald right now while holding my chicken nuggets.
But I’m not the girl who always gets the happy ending. We graduated from high school and soon we will enter the college life.
“April, you know that I always want to study about engineer but in our city I don’t think they have the major that I want.” Shade opens the conversation
“Yeah I know. I know that you want that major so bad. Then go for it”
“But it means I will not lived in here again” he said.
I understand about that. I’m 100 percent agree with him. I always support him for what he want especially when we talked about education. It means I need to let him go right? But it’s for his dream. I need to stop being selfish. It’s all for him.
Then it happened, he went to the city that he want of course to achieved his dream and I’m in here to achieved my dream too. I was a law student at that time. We still in contact but somehow it feels different. I just feel it was not real. How can I only talked to my phone and pretend it was him. In the other hand I saw my friend picked up by her boyfriend. All I want right now is Shade. I want to touch his curly hair, look his brown eyes and asked him to go to the cat cafe, our favorite cafe. But how? I need to stop thinking like that. I cannot stop his dream.
And it became worse. His family moved to other city because his dad has been transferred from the company. It means he never back to this city again. Our city. Both of us get bored. No, it’s not both of us. I mean ‘me’. I forced him to meet me, it’s getting uncontrolled. I cry a lot and I made him mad. Then both of us know it’s not getting better and we decided to stop because it’s became unhealthy for us. I know I supposed to encourage him with his life but I can’t because I’m so childish at that time. All the thing that I want is just meet him everyday.
I promise to myself that I need to stop thinking about him. I ended up made my day busy. Honestly it helps me a lot to forget him even sometimes I want to stalk him from Instagram but I need to move on, that what I though at that time.
In my second year being law student I feel it’s not the major that I want. Actually I really want to study about literature but I ended up register myself as a law student it because most of my family are from law school. Because I’m such a stubborn young girl, I take another exam and choose literature as my major. I don’t know if I’m lucky or God already determine my path but I passed the test. At first, my family refused it and forced me to continue my study but in the end they understand I need to follow my dream. Oh ya! I almost forgot to tell you, the university that I choose is not in my city. It was in the same city with Shade. What a coincidence. I know you will think that I want to meet him again that’s why I choose to this city? You’re absolutely wrong. I don’t even tell him that I moved to here. He didn’t know anything about it.
After I moved I decided to get some fresh air by myself. I went to the park and It’s only me with my camera. I don’t really understand about photograph but taking pictures is my hobby. I don’t care about the brightness, focus, ISO or something like that. I only captured the thing that I want.
While I started capture the scenery in the park I saw someone. Someone that I used to know, you know who. That guy turned his body toward me.
“Please stop” I started mumbling.
But he never stop, he walk slowly to me.
“April?” he look confused “How are you? What are you doing in here?” He asked me a lot of questions.
“Whoa, slow down big guy” then I told him everything, the reasons why suddenly I lived in here.
I can see he’s very excited. Honestly I’m excited too but I need to look calm.
And it happened again, we talked again, we communicated again and it feels like the old time. Because I don’t have relatives who lived in this city and of course I still don’t have a friend that I can trust that’s why I spend most of my time with Shade. We go to a lot of new places and we shared everything, it makes me less homesick. I’m so happy that I met him again. Sometimes when I missed my family, he always came to cheer me up. He knows how to throw all my tears.
That day we are planning to watch movie. He said that he will pick me up at 10 am. I putted some make up to made my face looks fresh and I still waiting for him. It was already 11 am and he still not pick me up. I wonder if he forget about it or he stuck in the traffic jam. I called him five times but he still not answered. I’m getting mad and instantly changed my clothes.
I fall asleep and still there’s no news from him. I’m getting worried at that time and suddenly my phone ringing. It’s from his mom.
All the thing that I can do at that time was only sit and stunned.
“It’s not real” I convinced myself
But yeah, it’s real. Shade has gone.
His mom told me that the car hit him. The thing that made me sadder is the flower. His mom said the police found a flower with my name in his motorbike and there was a note, it says “Let’s be happy together”.
My heart falls in pieces, why it happened to me. What am I do? How can I continue my life after this tragedy. It’s my fault, it was always be my fault.
Time keeps running and I need to move on with my life. Even it’s really hard for me. I loose my weight, I become quiet and I don’t want to see anybody. My parents come and they do everything to cheer me up. It’s not working until one day I dream of him.
“Hey April, what happened with you? You look bad. I don’t like it. Are you on diet? But it’s not you! Bring me the energetic April! Bring her back!!!!” he screamed.
And I realized, Shade don’t want me to act like this. He want me to be happy just like the old time and I need to be happy for him, it’s always for him.
It’s 16 January 2017, I’m going to meet someone today.
I went to his grave today, for the first time after he’s gone. Shade, are you happy in there? Thanks for giving me a lot of memorable lesson. We used to be so happy, right? I’m trying to be happy again but believed me it still feels different. I missed our old happiness. I miss you, Shade.
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