Moh Ridwan Hidayat/ 180410140001
I was lost my love.
I was still walking, I did not care with my body. I was like bombarded by a thousand of blade. A very miserable day, until the sky was crying. Even I could not bring out a single of tears. The sky was replacing my crying. I walked undirected. Then I remembered the sweet words that felt like a piercing samurai blade.
“Our love is quite up here. We do not need to relate again. I have tried to survive, but the result is the same. I want us to break up.” She said.
I was just silent. I did not believe, but I knew it was real.
“This is the best decision for us. I’m sorry, because you are too good for me. Hopefully some day we meet again.” She added as she started to leave me.
I was just silent, and only silent. I did not move. I tried to feel what it feels, but it was difficult.
She was gone, even the earth will not know. I sat dreamily looking at the grass. In the deep my heart said, “I really want to be with you, but I know all this desire in your heart. I just want to see you happy.”
A man came to me, and the man surprised me until I toppled.
I was angry until cursing, “Fuck you!” I said with hard sound to the man.
It was visible face of the man with vague.
“It is me, Jack. I am Alex, Jack. What the fuck with you?” the man said reply me.
“What are you doing, bastard? It was heavy rain. Do you want to die? Let’ go!” I said with scolding to that man.
The man was Alex. He was his friends. He was like my brother. Alex was just a place for me to sharing my complaint. We were like SpongeBob and Patrick. We were always doing silly play.
We have arrived at my house.
We sat down. Alex will hear my story. It was his habits.
“I am broken heart,” I said to him with smoking. “I broke up with Putri”, I added.
Then, I drank a cup of coffee. It did not feel good. Alex was just silent. We were also silent. Then, I was going to mattress. I was tired.
Alex said, "Do not be so dear, will you just give up? Why do not you ask for the same explanation as her?" For me it was finished.
“Will you be silent just like that?” Alex added. Alex’s advice silenced me, but I think now it could not help.
I remembered back in the past with her. All memories about her smile were carried into the dream. It was just dream.
One week has passed, I feeling become lonely, and I still could not accept this situation. My life was like an own missed a moon.
On morning at Saturday, I got a message from my friends, Alex. He said, “Putri rushed into hospital.” I shocked. We went to the hospital with high speed.
Until there, we looked Putri’s parents was standing in front of Emergency Room. We were great each other to them. I asked about why Putri into the hospital. They did not answer. After waiting for so long finally the doctor who handles Putri was out of the emergency room, Putri parents into the room. However I met the doctor. I wanted to know about Putri’s diseases. The doctor explained all about the diseases of Putri. The doctor explained that in fact Putri has been a patient of this hospital for a long time and undergo routine outpatient consultation, because Putri has been convicted of end-stage brain cancer. Even the doctor added that Putri’s life will not last 3 years ago, but the doctor was very impressed with Putri, because she could still survive until this day.
“We are very happy that Putri can survive this long from our medical prediction, Putri once told me that she is happy to survive and can feel life. Other than that can meet with others, and also get to know about love. Maybe this is what makes Putri can survive to this day.” said the doctor at length.
I asked, “Can Putri’s diseases be cured?”
“I can not speculate anymore, because now the disease is very chronic, I can not guarantee the patient can last much longer, now it is a miracle that can help her. But we will try as much as possible, give the best for Putri.” Said the doctor.
I shocked. Frustrated and pull a long face. My life seemed to be destroyed instantly. I wondered why she is not telling about that to me. 3 years we have been through together, but why, why I still did not know about you.
She still has not woken up. It was 3 days. I accompanied her, to the point where I slept there.
“Are you aware?” I said with joy. All of a sudden, Putri has regained consciousness. I held her hand firmly. Putri looks to want to talk, but the condition is still very weak. I ran to looking for the doctor.
The doctor said her condition is starting to improve. She needed you. “Are you okay, you must be good?” I staring her.
“Jack,” she said while wiping my hair. “I am sorry,” she continued with cry.
“It is no problem.” I said. “Now, you have to eat.” I continued. Putri nodded her head. She responded me. When she ate, she wanted to say to me about the reason she want to leave-taking with me.
“Jack, I am sorry what I am doing to you. Actually, I did not want to leave-taking with you. I just want to your life not burdened with my diseases, it is why, it is why for years I have to keep secret about my diseases to you.” She said with crying. “You know when we climbing the mountain, it is amazing. I want to there again. Knowing about steep climbing line, seeing people who are very spirited, seeing sunrise, and many more.” She continued with sadness. “I want to there again,” she begged.
She was too ambitious. I told her to calm down, “keep your shit on! You have to heal first, I beg you.” I asked. “We will plan to go to there, after you are really healthy. We really will go, I promise you” I hope to her.
After that, she fell asleep. I always accompany her, because her parents were very busy. Both her friends and my friends always come to see her. She was looked happy, she was starting looks very fine. The doctor said to me for advised me not to leave her alone.
"Hey look ya, there is a promo to go there, and we go there with this group." I said while showing a picture at Instagram.
"Oh yeah, I really want to go there, but I want to go there just the two of us." she excitedly exclaimed.
During one week I accompanied her, but she passed away. I think, she did not give up, but she was only taken by God.
I was lost my love.
After one month her passed away I did not believe with all this. I could not forget the departure of Putri. I begged to God in a prayer, "My God, help me to be more sincere for all your will, help me lay out all your ways."
Without realizing it, the time has ran, all our stories in a sheet of paper has ended. I realized it, you must be happy in there with God. So do I, I have to forget you.
I ran, walked, and got out from your life, so that I no longer feel the pain and sadness. I had walked in my dark past, which has been with me all the time.
I was silent in a thousand languages. I rarely talked with other, my parents, my friends, and all people.
I went to go to there, alone, for remembered when the first time we met at that mountain, her beautiful face, she were really beautiful. Her hands were very soft beyond anything. I could feel it because at that moment I hold her hand tight when we accidentally collided on the mountain climbing.
I started to walk to leave the place. I traced the steep road. Then, I stopped to rest for a moment, but something came to mind. My stop was this place where I gave her a foot massage, because her feet slip. I remembered it was funny.
Upon arrival there, the memories added again. All our memories reappear. If only she was still alive. Like her wish to go here. That must be my life will not be this bitter. However, now everything has changed. Maybe it was just a dark past, but to me it was a dark shadow in life that could not be released from this self.
Word Count: 1501 Words
"Hilanglah Galauku" by Bagus Aryo Wicaksono
"Aku Tinggalkan Kekasihku Mati di Gunung" by Ahmad Pajali Binzah
"Embun yang Hilang" by Ar Russy HR
#CreativeWriting #Scribere2017 #FinalWriting