Salsabila Firdausia Hanifa/180410150014
Is it real or not?
“Aliyya, have you ever feel sad and blessed at the same time?”
The thunderstorm was sounds louder than ever, I crossed my leg while waiting for her to answer my question. A glass of milk chocolate is in my right hand while my left hand is holding the remote TV. We were sitting in the living room, she was busy with her books, so I thought she didn’t hear my question, then I repeat my question but louder than before,
“Have you ever feel sad and blessed at the same time?”
“Ah.. um..” She was thinking for a minute “yeah, maybe..”
“I don’t know. I don’t remember.”
“Do you want me to get you some snacks, Alika? I terribly hungry.”
The page of the book that she red is still open, I take it then read 1 page but Aliyya is still not coming back. I checked the clock and it’s already 30 minutes, so I went to the kitchen to looking for my sister.
“Aliyya?” the kitchen was very quite. Since my father and my mother died, my grandmother who’s already 75 years old taking care of us, but as long as we can do it by ourselves, we won’t call her.
“Aliyya? Are you there?” I see the knife on the table. I touched the knife and grab it with my left hand, but then..
“What happen, Alika?” I dropped the knife to the floor. “It’s 9pm. We should go to our room.”
“But.. you were with me, right?”
No, not again. Not now. It’s not real.
“Huh? I was in my room trying to finish my homework.”
It frequently happens for the past 6 years and I’m trying to be fine with it, but sometimes things just happens out of my control. Things that makes people around me scared and makes some of my friends called me a freak. I don’t know to explain it, sometimes I just feel like I already seen things or being in places that I have never been there before. At first, I always thought that I had Déjà vu. My father once told me that it’s okay to having a feeling where we thought we’ve been in that place or situation before,
“It’s totally normal, so don’t worry.” He said.
No. that’s not just like that. It’s not that simple.
I’m not just “seeing things” like that, sometimes it shows me what I have to do when I’m in that situation. The worst part is, they want me to do things that I don’t want to do, things that makes me scared, things that made me lost my parents.
I’m the one who did it.
I killed my parents.
Word count: 466