HIM

Fitrianty Nur Toharja

Summary: A married young couple is in a conflict. A wife suspected that her husband is having an affair with other woman, but the more she finds out, the more she knows the truth.

My family and I are new people in this region of the town, this town is called Tasikmalaya.We came here since I finally enrolled the first grade of my elementary school. Our old house in Bandung was sold out by my father, he said it was a little big for our little family, hence we can bought the little one in here and used the rest for our needs.

We are not live in the central of this town, we live in a small region of this town instead. As far as I could see was dense trees all around my house. I felt like I was living in the middle of the forest. Every morning I could hear birds tweeting, and every night I could see fireflies. But as time goes by, more house were built, more trees were felled for more alley or street all around this region. However, each of our house still separated few thousand meters.

One day, the day I had been living 2 years in this town, I was glade that other house next to mine were built for a few months later. It was a huge house with two floor, I couldn’t see the entire house because some porters were passing through the house carried out some materials. A few days later, I left my house for my vacation, I went to Bandung spent my vacation with my mother’s big family there. It took me all weeks there. And the day I came home from vacation, I saw a boy in front of the new house which is had built was playing with his cats. They are playing a catching ball. I observed him a while, I thought that he was in a same age with me. His hair is so curly, it was cute. I can feel how happy I was then. Finally, I have another child to talk to except my little brother who could only mumbling and crying.

I have known him for nine years now. We called him Ami, but his real name was Fahmi. We used to be in one school since he was in the third grade, it was the time he came in this town. He was moving from Jakarta. The reason why his family moved because, his father assigned to work in one of the hospital in here. I can completely almost know the whole thing about him. Either it comes from my mom or I know by myself.

Because our house are close enough to see or to come to, our family are also close enough for dealing something or preparing anything. For example, a school for him, my mother suggested to his mom my elementary school, beside the distance wasn’t very far, we can go and return school by ourselves. I didn’t know why he always agreed to his mom. But that things happened until we were in college. We were in a same elementary, junior, high school and of course at the same college. Although we were not in an exactly the same class, but for a little day in my student life I was bored at him, my whole school life was full with him. I ever asked him how does he felt to walk with me to school for his entire school life, he just smiled and looked at me, he said it was fun and not a big deal for him.

We are in a living room, we are watching his favorite TV series. It’s 9 o’clock of the night, but we aren’t in a bed yet, it’s also unusually for him. This time he usually in his dream, snored with his eyes half opened.

I poke his hand and said “are u sleepy yet?”, he doesn’t even look at me, his eyes are focused on a TV screen in front of us. I look at the screen, want to see because of what that my husband can ignoring me. It’s playing his favorite part, where the main character is fighting the devil. I sigh, I look back at his face to find his eyes on mine, but not, his are on TV. I ask him, “are u sleepy yet?” again, he doesn’t answers it, he is still ignoring me. I move near to him, just sends a signal that his wife is beside him, but not, he is same still. I get up and walk in front of him while I say “I am sleepy, I want to sleep first”, I can feeling that he looks at me in my back, he answer “mmm, ok”.

My body is resting on the bed but not about my mind, my mind is throwing back to the past, the time that we haven’t in one house like this.

It was in our high school. We were in the same high school few years ago. He was in IPA class, and I was in IPS class. In the break time of school, he always came to my class either to see me or encourage me to a cafeteria. He always did that since we were in junior school, but does he had to do that even though we were in high school?, it was not because he embarrassed me, his looks was cute enough for me, although he was so skinny then. I just felt weird because did he never want to date a girl in this school or something?

But, as same as he was, he said it was not a big deal for him, what was wrong with his break time always spent with me, moreover the only friend that he know so well from our school, was me. It was because we were in a same school, always. We were like a soul mate or twins instead, every time I go he goes.

Suddenly, in my high school life something strange was happened. Like the way seed grown up by the water and manure, my feeling was growing, rising, bigger than before. It felt weirder. I thought my feeling was wrong. How can I felt different with my best “boy”friend from my neighbor? I felt like I was out of line, it was too much feeling on him.

Since then, I was always thinking out what happened to me, I was synchronized my mind and my feeling on him. Two years I was hiding my feeling about him. The lasting I hided that feeling, the more I felt weaker in front of him. Every seconds he did something to me despite it was also did since we were young, it was recorded permanently in my brain.

Writing just what I did. I always pouring out my feeling into that. I was never ever told him about my real feeling about him, just me, my paper and pen. I didn’t want to end up our closeness by told him I love him. Yes, after I had headaches for thought out what I was feeling on him, I was sure that I loved him.

I feel like someone get on the bed next to me, it’s him. He kiss my right cheek and says “goodnight”, just that. I don’t know what happened to us, a few months since we were married he has kind of busy man on his work too much, I think.

That day was the day. The first day we were officially dating each other. He suddenly asked me how my feeling about him. I had no idea why he asked that question. It’s dumbed me, I couldn’t even breathe my oxygen simply. I knew my cheeks were burning red. He waited my answer, but I couldn’t tell it, it was hard to say it. He made things easier, he asked me to be my boyfriend, I couldn’t say no, I just nodded and that’s it, we started dating.

I woke up by a noisy, it someone’s voice, he is talking. That is the type of me, I can suddenly wakes up by hearing some noises, it either loud or not, I just can really sleep when all around me in quiet.

I take a look at my next, there is no my husband sleeping. I get up, walking out of room to the kitchen for drink. I hear someone is cackling, I am surprised and my head turns around to observe it. It was my husband in a living room. He is standing while he is holding his phone on his right ear. Is he phoning with someone?

A clock is hanging in a wall, right above his head. It is 1 a.m was think that the clock can fall on his head, hence he knows how hurt my heart is when he is phoning in the middle of the night with someone that I don’t even know who, it’s strange, but he is doing that lately. I always think that it was his friend in his work. Maybe he is or she is his boss, his partner or everything about his job because whenever I asked about it he always answered calmly that he is or she is about his job. But what on earth someone always calling in the midnight? Is it a bat? Sleeping in the day and waking up in the night?

I still sitting in my desk, writing some spill of my hurt heart. My husband is in work because that clock pointed a 10 number out. Since our married, my mother-in-law suggested me that I can’t working yet, she said “Don’t need to be a worker yet darlin’, he will do it, don’t worry, just stay at home be the best wife for him, he knows how to be responsible.” Actually I didn’t want to, I was confused, I wish I can find a job, earns my own money and enrolled in a college again. But I looked at my mom, found out that she was not agreed about that suggestion, I mean it’s kind of command,

she just smiled and nodded to me.

Bzz bzzz bzzz

My phone vibrates, it’s from my group chat.

Pembodohan Group chat. Our group chat named by Saputra.

In the group, there are my really close best friends from my school. Dian and Catur, they were my friends from kindergarten in Bandung, Margareta was my friend in my Elementary school, she always called reta, and Saputra and Restu were my junior high school. For now they are in different town or country, so we make a line group chat to easier our communication.

Catur sent a photo in the group. It is loading to be downloaded, my internet is in crisis, and it takes almost one minute to loading. Before I finished download it, Dian and Reta typed “who is that man?” I couldn’t see the picture yet.

Download finished, that photo is a woman and a man captured from the distance, it is blurred. I couldn’t see clearly, I placed my phone near through my eyes, so I can see it.

I looks carefully, I feel that I know the two of them. It’s familiar to my eyes.

Who are they? Sent. Read by 4.

Catur: is that ur husband?

My heart beats fast, I can’t imagine if he is the real my husband.

Catur: I saw them in the store.

Saputra: nah, he isn’t her husband -_-

Do do I Saputra, how could he is my husband whereas he is in work doing his job. Nevertheless, the man in the picture is dressed up as same as my husband today.

Dian: is the girl is Rizki’s wife?

I think so

The girl in the picture looks like Rizki’s wife. Rizki was our ex-group member. He had a conflict with us, in fact with Saputra, few years ago. It was just about a girl, Saputra was trying to become a makcomblang for him. He made their first met, I thought that was romantic, but suddenly Rizki mad and messed it up, and he left us in the end.

Catur: dev, is that ur husband??

I look the picture once again, he looks like Fahmi, my husband. But how can my husband hanging out with Rizki’s wife in the middle of his work?. My heart start racing, what if he is him? My minds flies around, I can’t thinking.

I don’t know. I replied

Margareta: Do you think he is her husband catur? How dare you accused him, do you have enough evidences to prove that?

Oh god, war is begin.

I turn off my connection data on my phone. I repeat to see the picture, I sigh, what if Catur was true.

Two months goes since the tragedy of the picture of my husband and Rizki’s wife. It is clear, no one hurts on us, Catur felt sorry for me and I apologized.

Furthermore, without telling them, I was finding out some information about it, yes I did have, it was him, my husband with the other woman. At first, I was so upset and suuprised. I couldn’t handle it, I cried a lot when I was alone in a room. I wanted to cry to my mom, to my friends, but it is hard. I can’t tell my mom or my friends yet, I want to know more by myself. I want to see by my own eyes that my husband cheating on me.

I read a lot about cheating on internet, although my connection data on my phone as fast as turtle, I was patiently waiting and read it.

Every day he changed. He is not the old him. He came home late, He is temperamental, and he is sensitive. Every time I made a mistake, either it was serious or not, he yelled at me, told me that I couldn’t do anything nicely. I felt like I am a housekeeper in the house. Every morning before he went to work, he never said anything to me.

It’s not make me weaker, yet I feel more enthusiastic to find out what happened with him, which related to me, our little family.

Every day is like a hell. He always ignoring me even if I beside him. Focusing on is phone, I try to control my anger. I won’t ask him about the cheating things, I won’t us be in conflict. I won’t this is ended up. It is not done yet.

My husband takes a bath, his phone is vibrates in the bed. I think I should read it, someone sends him text. “Can we just talking it now? I will wait in my house.”

It is from unknown number, my husband didn’t save this number anymore. It is my turn, I reply it.

It is my little chance to done this thing. “I can’t, how about tomorrow in my office at lunch? I’ll wait. Don’t reply, my wife is in here.”

I delete our texts and placed the phone the right before.

The time I am walking out of the room, my husband enter it.

I got you.

Today is the day, I am sure I will do this. Its 12 p.m. and I am in his office. I said a security that I will go to my husband’s room to get him a lunch.

I walk to his office room, but he is not there. My mind says that they are in a cafeteria, because it’s a lunch time. Yes, he and her woman. I am believe that my plan is working. I know which way that I should take because, I have ever come here before.

I walk through the hallway while thinking what I should do when I meet them, and what I should say if I face the woman.

Before I get to the cafeteria yet, I hear something noisy.

I was surprised, I hear someone was throwing something through the wall, it was loud. I look around, but there is no other people in here.

Suddenly, I hear someone is yelling and slamming the door. It was from the toilet I mumbling, I am curious, quietly I am walking to the toilet. It was from man toilet. I stand outside the toilet room. as possible as I can, I lean on my body to the wall to listen to them. I think they are in an argument, because those two men are yelling to each other and occasionally hit something which near to them. Ihear one of the two man is sobbed, and I startled when the other man says “Stop crying!”, I know the voice, the husky voice of him. Fahmi. I think it is him. Yes it is. He tries to comfort the other one who is crying.

I feel more curious when the man that was crying is started to speak. I can’t hear it clearly.

When I am still focusing, someone one of them is grumbling loud. I was surprised, the sound was so loud. My heart is racing. I feel like I am spying someone.

I am thinking while I am listening to them, is he Fahmi, my husband? But it’s weird. They talks a lot about relationship. I am confused, what are they talking about. But I just can hear that they want to make their relationship easier and opened.

My belly is hurt, and my heart bombing when the man who have my husband’s voice says “I love you Rizki, I do love you! Do you remember our first met in the yard when I moved in this town? It was the first time I felt something on you, I love you, and still same now. I can divorce Devi now if that what you want”

I am checking my ear, checking my hearing that they are still working or have broken yet.

“I don’t know mi, but I can’t let my wife alone.”

I hear someone some closer, but I just can freezing in my leg, resisting what have my ears hear.

Someone is leaving the toilet, it is Rizki. He covering his red face while still sobbing. Behind him I see Fahmi trotting through him, trying to face him but Rizky forced him.

Word count: 3039 words

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