Blank Paper: A Short Prose.

180410130023/C

Blank Paper: A Short Prose

Summary: A man that got a bad dream.

Today was Sunday and so hot out there. I decided to stay and cleaned this mess room up. I lived with my roommate, Thomas, in a small rented-house at the famous area in Jatinangor. Yeah, it was Ciseke. I didn’t know who was given that name. Thomas and I were studying in Universitas Padjadjaran. I met him at Student Day and now we became close friend. He came from Batam. It was the second year he didn’t go back to home because he joined the summer program along this holiday.

“Damn, it’s so hot out there. Would be better if I wash all my clothes. Hey, do you know where is the detergent? Please pass to me.” He said with wiped his sweat on forehead.

“Here it is. Eh, but empty. Wait, I am going to buy to the minimarket for a moment.” I said and took the motorcycle key and gone.

When arrived, I walked into minimarket and looked for the detergent. Suddenly, I stopped and looked down for something. Then, I took a little piece of written paper said Now, you have to pay for the detergent and you will excite about what will happen next. Damn, I was shock. Why did it know about the detergent? Okey, now I walked to the cashier and I asked about the paper.

“Excuse me, do you know about this paper?” I said with courious.

“Hmm, it is only transaction paper, Sir. Nothing special with it.” Cashier man said with smiled.

“Is it true ?” I whispered.

Then, a little sound replied me.

“No, it is a magic paper. Actually a map.” Unknown sound that didn’t know from where said to me.

I walked to the outside and got on the motorcycle. I drove with still thought about ‘magic paper’ that it was true or not. More I thought about it, more I felt so curious. I arrived to my room then asked to Thomas.

“Thomas, look what I’ve found. It’s ‘magic paper’. It shows me a clue that actually a map.” I said.

“Hah?! Really? I don’t believe it. Where is my detergent?” Thomas said.

“Here you are.” I replied.

Thomas started to wash his clothes. But I prepared this journey that made me super curious about this mystery case. I took my backpack and then put few clothes, bath tools, meals, cap, and also camera. While I was busy with my package, Thomas asked me.

“Where will you go? Why are you so rush?” He asked me.

“I’m going to somewhere that this ‘magic paper’ has told me.” I replied.

“Really? So, do you really believe with that?” He asked me with belittled tone.

“Of course! Come on. Let’s go! “ I said.

After that, he ran, packed his stuff and joined with me for the journey. We started now. I took ride and Thomas in behind. We went to Gas Station for awhile. Jatinangor, the border town between Bandung and sumedang, had range of 180-280C in weather. Today was bright and hot. Unfortunately, the line of consumens was very long and slow. Thomas suddenly asked me in the middle of the line.

“Where will we go by the way? “ Thomas asked.

“I don’t know. But my feeling says that we have to go to Sumedang for the next clue.” I replied.

“Really? Ugh, it will be a long trip. After arrived, what will gonna do there?” He asked again.

“Stop asking me and focus on the line.” I replied with high tone.

Well, finally now it was our turn after along time. Thomas off the bike and walked toward the front of the gas tation. He walked, wondering if this was real or not. Thomas thought he was crazy because he was easy to believe that he had just met.

“Let’s go up and ride.” I said.

“Okay, Mate” Thomas replied.

Along the way to the destination, I only focused on watching the road. Then, Thomas was silent. So, I started to ask him.

“Why are you silent?” I said.

“No, I’m thinking about why are you so easy to trust with something new?” He asked me.

“In fact, I’m not sure. But my conscience told me to do it. Then I do it with my high desire.” I replied with calm.

We started the trip from the gas station. Then we passed the three campuses. Those were IPDN, Ikopin, and our campus, Universitas Pajajaran. We drove for an hour. Suddenly, when we entered the area of ​​Tanjung Sari, traffic jam was crowded. Then, there was a policeman came to us and asked.

“Good afternoon, where will you two go?” Asked the policeman.

“We are heading to Sumedang, Sir. By the way, what is happening here?” Thomas asked him.

“We are here to investigate some case. Ok, now just continue your trip. Good afternoon.” He said

“Thanks, Sir” Thomas replied.

We were continue the trip and almost arrived to Sumedang. In the middle of trip, our bike’s tire was flat because nail on the road. I didn’t know who was put it in there. Maybe someone who was crazy. So, we walked with pushed the bike until we found the repair shop.

“Arrgh, this is so bad. But, we’re almost reaching the finish. Push with harder then.” Thomas said.

“Of course. Don’t stop until we make it” I replied.

My body became full of sweat because pushed the flaten tire-bike in the middle of the day. I stopped for a while to rest. I sat and then tried to lying on the grass. Suddenly, the could became dark and rain fell so hard that time. But I was only silent and enjoyed the rain. I felt like I took a bath and had shower. I closed my eyes for along time. But, I heard someone called me with high tone.

“Hey, wake up, Pal !” someone yelled at me.

When I opened my eyes, that was weird. Why did I do in here? on the bed with wet shirt? I thought was on the road with Thomas.

“What ? Wake up, Sleepyhead. Today is Sunday and hot out there. Would be better if I wash all my clothes. Hey, do you know where is the detergent? Please pass to me.” He said to me.

“What did happen to me?” I said.

“What ? You are sleeping all day and I think you’ve dreamed about something creepy, do you ?” Thomas asked me.

“Emm, nothing.” I replied with weird face.

Then, nothing happened.

THE END

Reference:

– Personal experience

– My weird dream

– A Policeman on the road

Word Counts: 1,089

Link: https://soundcloud.com/girli-fazri/blank-paper-a-short-prose

10 thoughts on “Blank Paper: A Short Prose.

  1. Even though the end of your story is a bit hangover, i like your story Gir. Who would have thought that the whole story just the main character’s dream. The dramatization is very good, it is a good decision you put Harvest Moon music as your back sound. I think the best part of your dramatization is “Let’s go up and ride.” i really like this part. By the way, Thomas’s sound is very familiar to me haha.

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  2. Girli! at first I was a bit confused of where would this story go and what is it actually about? What does the magic paper actually want to show? But then it’s only a dream hahaha and I have been told one time that your dream can be a future-sight, and here’s how you do it; you saw it first in your dream then it actually occur after you wake up, the ‘where’s my detergent’ thing hahaha. But I think, there are some narrations unsaid in the dramatization when after someone says something, the further narration is not mentioned in the dramatization like in the story, it is written ‘“Why are you silent?” I said.’ the ‘I said’ is not mentioned in the dramatization, when it should have been. Also, you forgot to put the ‘thank you’ notes and in the future, don’t forget to ask someone to proofread your work so that any mistakes, particularly the grammatical ones, can be lessen. But, good job Girli!

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  3. Waah… a good short story. I really enjoy to read it while I listen to the dramatization. I like the part when the event actually was a dream. There were some advice that I would like to add. If the writing said ‘whisper’ please do the whispering on the dramatization. There are also few grammatical mistakes, and few typo. I guess you haven’t proofread your writing. But after all, it is a nice story.

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  4. hahaha whoa! I love this story and your idea about telling a dream. but I think it is gonna be better if you describe more about the detail of the setting. overall, it’s a good story, I enjoy it.

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  5. Well done, Pal! You made my curious keep following the story to the end. So what is the genre of this story? Is it horror story? or is it your own experience?

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  6. 180410130009/ C

    Hi, Girli! It’s actually an interesting story. I was curious about the magic paper and what would happen next in Sumedang. But, I found some grammatical errors in this story such as “who was given that name” which should be “who gave that name”. I wonder what will happen next for after waking up, your friend asks you about the detergent (again). Great story, Girli!

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  7. 180410130034
    I bet if this story is continued then Thomas has a home full of sacks of detergent to wash his clothes for a thousand years—-of light. Hahahaha *please*

    Like what Tyas has said, you should put “I said” narration if your dramatization is indeed based on your perspective, because I think it will help the reader or listener to know that you ARE telling your story. Btw, it’s cool to know that you apply the stream of consciousness theory, well if I ain’t wrong, – that you associate your main story line (the dream) and your real life in the story, like when you feel showered lying in the grass in your dream then you wake up on your wet clothes in your real life. It’s being associative if you figure it out.

    And regarding to Morena’s comment, I think putting more music backgrounds will help you to give an image of your setting, of course, without telling it directly on your story.

    Well done, Gir.

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  8. This is an interesting story actually, but I feel confused when I read in several parts. For example, when ‘I’ opened his eyes. Is that really just a dream? because I think all of the events seem obvious haha. Overall, you’ve successfully to makes the reader feel curious to your story. Good job, Gir!

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