1 May, 2015 16:26

180410120088/D

Summary : A daughter who was sorry for what she had done.

Rosie is a kind and cheerful girl, she is very close with her mother. Today is her first day of high school, she met with a lot of new friends at school and she really enjoyed being with her new friends. At home, Rosie told her mother all that happened at school. Day by day she really enjoyed being with her friends and spending her time with them almost everyday. One day she fell in love but she didn’t tell her mother about that.

A few month later…

Rosie started her 11 grade, her social life was not really good, she always went home late but she didn’t care if her mother really worried about her.

Mother "Rosie, why are you always come home late?!"

Rosie "mom, I’ve grown up now, its time for me to spend my time with my friends, and i’m not a kid anymore! I am really tired now, i’m going to sleep"

Mom"Rosie!"(shouted)

Rosie "Shut up,mom! I’m really tired"

Her mother was very sad why Rosie acted like that and she was really different, then her mother called his husband who work in another country and told about Rosie.

Next day….

Mom "Rosie…could you drove me to the hospital, I feel I’m having headache". Rosie "no, mom sorry. I have something to do with my friends today."

Mom "briefly Rosie"

Rosie "no mommy, didn’t you hear what I said?!"

The bell rang…

Mom "ok… Wait"

Rosie "mom…don’t mom…I’ll open the door. He is my friend, he wants to go to school with me"

Mom "who? Why don’t you tell me?

Rosie "bye mom…."(approaching Sam)

Someone picked up Rosie and he was her boyfriend, Sammy. After school, Rosie, Sammy and their friends went to a mall.

At 11 am Rosie didn’t go home, her mother was really worry about her so she called Rosie but no answer. Rosie just saw her handphone, she felt angry because her mother called her.

Arrived at home

Mother "Rosie, why you didn’t pick up when i called? Where were you??"

Rosie "I’m a grown up mom! Don’t treat me like a kid! I know what is the best for me and what is not."

Mom "i just worry about you. And as you know i was sick, i want you to be always beside me."

Rosie "I’m tired mom"( went to the bedroom)

Mom (felt dizzy) "Rosie…ros…help me."(pass out)

Rosie "what again mom…I….. Mom..mommy what happened, wake up mommy"

Rosie called Sammy to drove her to the hospital. At the hospital her mother was rushed to the ICU, Rosie was crying and she really regret. The doctor came out of the ICU

Rosie "doctor, what happend to my mom? Is she ok? Please tell me

Doctor "she has stage 4 leukemia. I’m sorry .You have to be patient.

Rosie just cried and cried, she and the doctor just went away. A few days later…her father came to hospital because Rosie called him. When her father arrives at hospital Rosie hug him and cried

Rosie "dad….i’m really sorry to mommy and i really regret what i did earlier. I want mommy to wake up, she has been coma for 3 days, i want her to wake up…..dadddyyyy"

Father "be patient, honey. Its too late now that your mom had been sick and now lets pray, i hope she could wake up.

One weeks later her mother’s condition was getting worst, Rosie only could cried, cried and cried, she came to her mother’s room"

Rosie "hi, mom, I’m Rosie your daughter. Do you remember that we always together and share each other everything, I really miss that moment mom, please wake up for me and dad. I’m sorry for the few days earlier, I made you sad, angry and cry. I hope you will wake up so we can be together again. I do really love you mom."

Her mother regained her consciousness and told Rosie not be a bad girl, and not to repeat the same mistake and lso listen to your father.

Not long after, her mother passed away and Rosie was very shock and Rosie cried so hysterically

Thanks to Gita as my proofreader

Reference : My friend’s imagination

Wordcount: 714

4 thoughts on “1 May, 2015 16:26

  1. 180410120122/D
    How pity this story is. I think this story will be more interesting if it gives such remain memorials. Rossie’s mother gives more her care that she wants to be closer with Rossie. For example,she always cook her favorite meals and she writes her daily stories throughout her alone without her husband and her daughter in her diary in order to Rossie knows that her mother needs Rossie to stand by her.

    Like

    • 180410100079/D

      I am not really agree about the idea that the writer chose to start with. I think it would be better if the writer wrote it from the moment when her mom passed away and it would be as a flashback story. So, the readers would be more excited to read it until the end of the story.

      Like

  2. 180410100122 / D

    The ungrateful kind of person of Rosie was shown really great in the story. However, the fact that her mom had a stage 4 of leukemia kind of didn’t reach me as a reader because it should have been told with more emotion in my opinion.

    Like

  3. I think this short story is good, but i didnt get the emotions when i read it. Maybe if the reader can feel the emotions that would be great. But still you did a good job.

    Like

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s