My Abnormality Beloved Daughter: A Poem


Summary: A poem between father and his abnormality beloved daughter.

My age was gnawed by needle that rotated on the numerical circle
The rotation that was never boring shown the brightness and the darkness of life
The sound of ‘tick tock’ accompanied every breath of mine
Seeing all forms of events that attacked me slowly

I was a red meat formed into a body
A body which had a soul that would be fragile
I was a father of my daughter
A father is the highest position of anything in world

My daughter was the only one gift from God that I had
Having her was like having the heaven
Her life was my responsibility
Universe supported every breath of mine with her
Her smile that rang a million pieces in my whole body
I always tried to keep her lips remained at a beautiful arch shape

Maybe the world was tired to sustain happiness that we created
Plume of disease came to my body without any intermediaries
Did not know when it was formed and became a parasite
There was no excuse to live into my body’s blood
My body was used as a shelter by it
Invites this body to became old together

I still lived with it which decided to live forever in this body
We both were here to witness in the development of Nolan’s life
Nolan, a cheerful little girl, adorable as well as the source my peaceful
Her body would someday grow up to match my body

Runs along time, Nolan would grow into large
To enjoy the universe with the world that she would have
Growing up with a beautiful face and graceful at the age of ten years
The age that still very young and innocent in this earth theater

There was no station or port to which the period expired
My Nolan, the disease and I would keep looking for a stopping time
There was no turning back and just stay quiet
The world was challenging us through the labyrinth of life’s journey
Presented through the game and try not to run into game over
The game over that would be seen by us later at the threshold where the time stopped

The warmth of the day and the cruelty of the night brought Nolan
To go forward to a higher place, the growth of age
Breeze and waves decorate day-to-day
Until one day a storm came that slowly changed her behavior
Little by little, trying to show her changes
Till it became the high hills and danced in my eyes

The longer it persisted; the clot was often invite me to play with it
And this body was nod accord
Until the time it appeared its boredom level
And the disease was acting in a collection of meat that I had

The body struggle hard like a crowbar to bend
Struggling still to look dashing in front of Nolan
Nevertheless definitely be at the time the body was no longer strong enough to contain it
And this being my biggest secret that I hide that from Nolan

Nolan made significant developments I have never thought
She was growing up to resemble such a man
There was no suspicious place on display like that Nolan
I was always on my position as the head of household and at once a mother to her
My love effused properly
And until such time it was true she had no affection of a mother

Nolan with male look never showed any irregularities
All looked fine like river water flowing peacefully
And Nolan still did not know my situation increasingly withered
Indeed, I closed the secret
I did not want any water rained down on the clear eye
All would be fine

One day God gave me more severe tests
Trials without a pencil or piece of paper that could be crossed out graffiti
Hot like fire snatched my whole body and burn
Maybe to be a solid black ash and smoky

Exams were distributed to both eyes
Made it difficult to carry out eye a flicker though only one minute
Seeing with trembling heart and felt abysmally
These eyes saw my daughter having sex with a woman

Oh My God! Nolan… My daughter… A lesbian…
Such as conducting lightning struck me already-definitely-be helpless
There was no power again to bear the heavy burden of this disaster and
The world looked black and dark, no light is lit again
The disease was growing inside me to see that I’m sick
The more enterprising my strength chewing it up no trace

Caught the eye to me what was done by my Nolan
She decided to run away from home without saying goodbye with her intimate friends
I was getting weak powerless against this sharp mine
My body was not able to be refilled with anything to remain strong
This sport has been a long and debilitating illness blobs hold the whole organ
Currently only a piece of meat lying in mattress cotton shabby

I was still waiting for Nolan to come back to me
No matter what happened yesterday wills, however, Nolan was a my peace fairy
No matter people were busy with themselves around me for talking about
I just wanted Nolan to return home

Nolan did not come up to me
Until the time came news grabbed my ears
Announced that Nolan has died of severe accidents
Like a bomb attached to the body and makes the body explode shapeless

There was no desire to live longer with a messy situation
Malignancy of the disease became increasingly
Paralyze everything, just the breath remaining weak
Alongside the news, unknown people give me a letter
This reinforced curiosity to quickly read the contents of the letter
And even then a letter from Nolan who made the trip to our home before accident

Set of letters in the letter containing an acknowledgment Nolan
Nolan said what she did with her friends yesterday
That was because she just wanted to get the love of a woman
She longed for a mother figure has long wanted
Read rippled through my heart a little sad to accept all that
My dear Nolan, my daughter, my poor Nolan…

I was completely at the peak point of my weakness that cannot be tolerated
I handed over the body on who created it
No hope to continue that this breath still blow
Restoring the body along with the others back to the origin

And… I came into the harbor and Nolan last
Where the time it was resting forever in this port
The game of life is already over cannot push play again
I came and Nolan on a lasting peace


Thank you for Rainisa Pratami, Yuli Triastuti, and Monique Ariica for helping me correcting this poem grammar.

-Film Miracle in Cell No.7 by Lee Hwan-K Yung
-Poem Howl by Allen Ginsberg

Word Count: (1108)

Link for work dramatization:

6 thoughts on “My Abnormality Beloved Daughter: A Poem

  1. 180410120055/F

    Being a guy and being a future father for their future children is a very difficult task that men should triumph over. During my reading thorough your poem, I can’t help but positioning myself as a father, and as the result, it touches my very own heart for the fact that the emotion and feeling of being a father has successfully well-poured into your poem. However, I think, the way you narrate and dramatize your poem is not maximal. For instance, in [4:15-4:45] which is I think the climax of your poem, you let your narration slipped away with a flat emotion. If only you can be more emotional and expressive, it will be very great because it describes the situation and the state of feeling of the character experienced.Nevertheless, the mellow music (piano instrument) you set is the plus point of your poem for it significantly represents the sadness itself. Good writing.

    words: 148


  2. 180410120052/E

    I think you have succeed to make me, as the reader, never feel like the story of the poem is boring but interesting. I also feel like I am challenged into reading the whole poem, as if I were the father, the protagonist and the speaker of the poem. The correlation between the father and his daughter can also be seen on the tone of the speaker that can be considered as cynical and sarcastic. For example, the way he talks about his daughter. We know the fact that the father hates what his daughter does, but deep inside we also know that he actually loves her so much. The poem also kind of makes me feel like I want to know what is going to happen next with the daughter and never want the story to end, that is why until now I still have a very strong curiosity to what will happen next to the daughter.

    Words: 158


  3. 180410120062/B

    As your proofreader of course I have been read your whole work before. You did a good job with the dramatization, since I have not heard it and only did read the writing. The record went well, maybe only happened a little disturbance from your nasal voice (I suppose you have a flu?). Overall, I love your diction and all your ways expressing the protagonist’s thought into beautiful parables. Last but not least, I wonder how you could made the verses lined up so precisely, because mine (and maybe the other too) is so messy and have irregular spaces. (words: 102)


  4. 180410120085/E

    I love the way you build the story which is about father-daughter relationship. It gives an extra point since you put yourself as a father instead of a daughter. It starts from a father who is glad having a daughter. As she grows up, Nolan’s father found many irregularities in Nolan’s self. What I got from this poem is being a lesbian is the conflict of the story. I also like the way you dramatize the poem. The intonation on your dramatization work also builds up the sadness of the story, but sometimes your nasal voice interfere your intonation which caused you failed to give the message in the line that you read.

    words: 113


  5. 180410120063/E

    I do love the beginning or the introduction in which the speaker shapes, who the father is and how precious Nolan is for him. It is like structured-introduction that the father first tells about himself and go straight to Nolan’s beautiful description. The conflict, when Nolan grows into a teenager, is told through metaphor as the father’s pain. The speaker uses common words so I can understand what the speaker tries to say in one time reading. I also love how the speaker ends his/her story as the “game over” in a game. I think the creator succeeds to reflect life with a game in tragic but beautiful way.

    (word count: 108)


  6. 180410120070/A

    Upon reading the summary I thought this poem is about a father’s love to his ‘abnormal’ daughter and their relationship for the word abnormality gives ambiguity meaning. But it turns out that the ‘abnormality’ means the daughter is someone who is sexually attracted to another girl. Nevertheless, I like the way the author show the father’s love to his daughter which is through the words. I think the author has succeeded to make the readers know how much the father loves and worries about his daughter and how his feelings to his only one daughter changes from time to time. Reading this poem also reminds me about my father and his endless love to me. Good work. (117w)


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