Keep Refreshing, Keep Praying: A Poem

180410120062/B

Summary: A college girl struggling in getting the ticket of one band that she has been devoted to for the past three years.

Today is the day

The moment that I’ve been waiting

The song is playing

“And I’ve been waiting

For this time to come around”

I heard him singing in my head

With his super electrical voice

Just to make my heart pounding faster

And I cannot wait any longer

The clock is ticking

As it speaks to me

And says “five more minutes dear”

I open another tab

Checking on my twitter

The fan base chirping the same thing

They have got the same nerves

One more minute they said

So I open again the page

Clicking “I agree” and hit “buy the ticket”

My laptop says another

“The webpage is not available”

I went back on my twitter

They keep shouting with ease

“Hang in there, dear”

Now the hot seats are sold

Long needle has spun fifteen times

It reaches the quarter round

The webpage is still not available

So unbelievable

“VIP are sold”

Now I really got myself into the tizzy

With the sweats and a little dizzy

I text her in hurry

She came to help me

As if she understands me

While I am wondering where he is

His message came through my phone

as if he reads me

as if he feels me

Now the three of us are trying

Keep refreshing, keep praying

She said “l made it to the first step”

But the web suddenly crashing

Keep refreshing, keep praying

He said “I made it to the second step”

Again it unfortunately crashing

“Cause we are on fire, we are on fire, we are on fire now

Yeah, we are on fire, we are on fire

We are on fire now”

I touch my wet cheeks

The image of my mom and I are flashing

We had this argue last night

I shouted to her

I scathed her

“Festival A are sold”

She was crying

I was crying too

Mom, I hope you could understand me

Dear, I wish you could hear me

The heaven below your mother’s feet, they said

Your mother first then your father, they said

I reach for my phone

I am ready to shatter this ego

My thumbs moving from a letter to another letter

My heart is tight, like it wants to blowout

My eyes soaked in a sea of sorrow

“Now she is feeling so low

Since she went solo

Hole in the middle of my heart like a polo”

“Festival B are sold”

Keep refreshing keep praying

There always be a silver lining

Now the pictures of me singing

crying, banging my head, screaming

shouting and chanting are fading

now the visions of meeting them

are just a sweet dream in the realm of mine

There is still this plain page saying

“The webpage is not available”

I wont see Niall’s high jump

Nor hear Zayn’s high notes

Maybe Liam’s mic spinning

or Louis’s denim jacket

and Harry’s knock knock jokes

are just going to stay in my head

and be my guest

you girls are very lucky

born with a dad and a dollar machine

and a mom with a comforting pillow

A message popping up my phone’s screen

It is not him, it is her

“Go on dear, you have my sincerity,

Go after your dream, hon, good luck”

It was my mom

with her comforting pillow

“You are going to see them, babe”, she said

I see the email with a number and congratulations’ note

My name written on it and the date and the barcode

I am going, I am going, I got the ticket!

Word Count: 595

Thank you Anasafrida Alvionitasari as my proofreader.

References:

You and I by One Direction

Happily by One Direction

Story of My Life by One Direction

Over Again by One Direction

Link for dramatization: http://rnsprtm.tumblr.com/post/89370870064

4 thoughts on “Keep Refreshing, Keep Praying: A Poem

  1. 180410120056
    Kelas B

    I like how you write this narrative poem since the plot flows naturally using the first person narrative. Besides, you use very simple words to tell the events happened that I can hardly distinguish whether this is actually a piece of poem or a short story like I thought before. I like the idea you take but I personally think that it would be awesome if you could use more poetic words. I also find that you are not consistent at using tenses since you use both present and past tense to tell the chronological event as it is written in “So I open again the page” then “I went back on my twitter” (words: 119)

    Like

  2. 180410120052/E

    I think the poem has such an interesting way to describe the speaker’s emotions and feelings through the way she expresses what goes in her mind. When reading the poem, It feels like I am the one who is able to know everything that is inside her head, but not able to do anything to help her, whose characteristic and personality can describe how the story of the poem goes. The personality of the speaker also emphasizes her effort of trying to get what she really wants, and I think that is what makes the poem interesting.

    Words: 98

    Like

  3. 180410120063/E

    There are so many struggles in the speaker’s life to get the ticket. There are also many characters in the story in which the speaker unfortunately does not describe their characterizations. It makes me as the reader get a little dizzy to recognize every character because the character itself is shown just for a moment. After I read the poem deeper, I finally can see the characterization of some characters, such as the speaker’s mother who changes her decision in allowing the speaker to get the ticket. It is obvious that the speaker puts some direct quotations and turns them into the speaker’s motivation and support. I see it as a narrative that is turned into a poem in order to minimize the large plot, eliminate some conflicts, and make it simpler to be delivered.

    (word: 136)

    Like

  4. 180410120026/B

    I open your poem in a heartbeat after I read the summary. I think of that musician in my head of to whom this poem is about and turns out I am right!

    I love how you choose to stick with simple words because I think what you are trying to portray is an event occurring in teenage life. The easier the words, the more you achieve the goal. Another attempt I like from your poem is that you include the song lyric which further my excitement for your poem. Adding the ‘simple words’ lyric somehow also justifies your choice of not using poetic words. Thumbs up!

    Word count: 107

    Like

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