Erroneous Thought : A Poem

180410130060 / A

Summary : A boy who has just realized who he actually is

Listen to the leaves on a tree

Falling and hit by a soft swarm of the air

I admire the pretty petty in this kind of atmosphere

Lucky if she knows

Lucky if he knows

This loft where everything seems murky

Where she always freaks me out

Has become my realm

Dark is my true friend

The lightest friend I have whenever I think the darkest crime

I lay on the floor full of dust

Like a dry daisy on a summer ground

Like a poor boy who left by his flock

I lay on the floor full of dust

Until the smell of the dew appears

Until I hear the happiness outside this room

Outside this house

She steps in to this little dark dusty place

Talking, reviling, and screaming as loud as she can

Make me regret something I forget

Yes, she does

I don’t understand what she is saying

She talks about animals and something I hate

Not really talking but screaming with a little bit groan

I often think that she is crazy

Just like me

I love her because she never hurt me, physically

I think she does not love me

Maybe it is just a clown with one hand clapping

It’s been a year now

I counted and still counting

Today is not yesterday

She is not coming

I wonder why the atmosphere of this house is really becoming unacceptable

Unwelcome

A great ferocious man standing arrogantly

Looking at me with angry eyes

With a strong eerie eyes

I hate this man, I love that woman

She never does it to me

I have not looked a couple of scary eye before

He knows me very well, I know

I don’t want to lose her

Even though I know I would

A perilous word spelled from his mouth

I don’t feel my world, a little

I smell his unsatisfied

Suddenly he stops

Suddenly I lose myself

I feel alone

I feel dark

It’s getting darker here, in this dusty loft

I begin to cry but no

I see her eyes, but she does not notice me

I try but no change

She does not notice my existence

My tears fall down but no

She is on his side

I am alone, I was wrong

She is not my mother

She does not love me

Like a branch without a tree

Like a house without a foundation

That is me now

I have no idea about all of this world anymore

I feel like a stranger

My feet is like controlled by a bird

I don’t feel the floor

I don’t feel the air

I feel my body’s burned

I feel no time anymore

I can’t hear the leaves on a tree anymore

I can’t feel the happiness anymore

I can’t feel the love that I have never had

I can’t see the dark anymore

I can’t hold anything with my precious gift

I can’t stand without others energy

I can’t be seen by anybody I can see

I can’t go back to the old me

I can’t believe I’m not the one I thought

I can’t accept the truth

The truth that I am the lucky boy who deserves to finish this poem

The truth that I have my body underneath the ground somewhere

Special thanks to Tasha Rizka Putri (class A) for correcting my grammar and thanks to Yosef Dadi (class D), Jasmine Zarrasani (class A), Deden Kurnia Syam (class A), and Tiara Fariza (class A) as a proofreader :)

References :

Dramatization :

~Lost but not forgotten – Very Sad Piano solo from Youtube.com

~Cold – Jorge Macndez (Sad Piano Violin Instrumental) from Youtube.com

Poem :

~ The Others (2001 Film)

~ Faulkner’s novel The Sound and The Fury

~ my lovely brain

Word count : 549 words

Link for Dramatization : https://soundcloud.com/radisti-dwikalisti/creative-writing-erroneous-thought

One thought on “Erroneous Thought : A Poem

  1. 180410130051/A

    I was mesmerized with the words you are using for your poem. The words that you choose for imagery words of some condition is very good. I could imagine the boy’s condition with the girl he adores. The plot was clear so I could easily understand the story inside. Contrast, I think the problems that the boy is facing in the poem was not really clear. However, I still like the story inside your poem. Good one.

    Like

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