Summary: Hesitancy by a girl named Anna between wanting to pursue her dreams and obeying her parents’ wishes.
They look happy to hear the news about my graduation of civil servant exam. They spread their best smile to those who congratulates their children that is me, Anna. Behind my parents’ happiness, whether they actually know what I feel now? I hope they do not know it and will never know it.
Actually I do not really want to become a civil servant because I wanted to be an architect. I ever told my father about my dream before, but his answer did not like what I expected.
“Why you want to become an architect? The job will not guarantee your future. But if you are become a civil servant your future will be assured, at least there is allowance for your old days. Anyway if you really want to become an architect you want to build a building where else? Our world is already too full of huge and towering buildings. So you want to build where else? Under the sea? ”
That’s the answer that I received from my father. Yeah … I know this is what would happen if I opposed my father, only pain will I receive from the words that come out of his mouth. After my father said that, I really wanted to reply his words,
‘Under the sea? That is not a bad idea. Should I make a house for our family under the sea?’
Those were the words that had crossed in my mind, and fortunately I was able to control my anger so that words did not come out of my mouth that would make the relationship between me and my father got worse.
As a family of Javanese descent, they always apply the principles of Javanese proverb that “Mikul Dhuwur Mendhem Jero”, this phrase is advice for children to honor their parents, by way of reward for their kindness as high. This principle that is always they taught me since childhood. Always appreciate parents’ kindness ,that is what I always think when I was mad at them, remembering all the good things that they have given to me, treated me with sincere when I was sick, they are anxious when I am away from them, by keeping in all their kindness in my mind I can lessen my anger to them.
But on the other hand, sometimes I wonder should I just follow my dream, leaving of all that I have achieved all this time? Or should I just be silent and obey everything they say? If I obey all as my parents say, will I be happy?
Although the heart continues to rebel, but on the other hand I think about it again, about the feelings of disappointment that they would feel if I am being selfish.
Because there is a Java’ proverb that is also said “Wani ngalah luhur wekasane” it means dare to budge will be glorious in the future. For me as a Moslem, I believe that there is an eternal life after we die. My decision to always obey my parents’ wishes because I do not want to be perceived as a rebellious child and they will hate me and what if I go to the hell because of it. Obeying of all what they want from me, I consider this as saving to go to heaven. For now and on I will try to always give my best for my parents because that is the only thing that I can do and because it is my responsibility as the first child.
Word count: 588
Thanks to Fauzia who give me inspiration for my dramatization work. Neviza who help me correcting my grammar and borrowing her camera to take a picture for my dramatization work.
References: Rules of the Game by Amy Tan
My friends’ story
Link for work dramatization: https://twitter.com/Yani_Prnmasari/status/479904353759678465