7: A short prose

180410120073/D

7

The Holy Baby

“…The most dangerous of all enthroned lies is the holy, the sanctified, the privileged lie –
the lie everyone believes to be a model truth…”-the satanic bible, Anton Szandor LaVey

I was waiting for Cali, my best. I am Annergal, the perfect one. My life was full of love from my parents and I could get everything that I wanted. My life was perfect! My dad would always gave me the best one. And I thought, I was the princess in a real life.
Cali finally came and huged me. She adoreed my new summer-season dress and sat next to me. I stared at her, smiling. She was my best friend, pretty good girl, truly smart but she couldn’t get everything that she wanted like me. She was like a holy baby for me. She never disappoints me and she was always there whenever I needed her.
“Do you want to sleep over with the others at my house, Anne? My parents are going to Milan for a month. I’ll be so lonely, “she said.
“Hmmm… Okay. But we are going to my house first, taking my stuff. Okay?”
“Sure”
I looked at her. There was something wrong with her and she looks so weird. But I was trying to ignore it. When we arrived at my house, she didn’t want to enter my house. She stayed in her car and started texting. I was taking my stuff then meet her behind the steering wheel.
“You look so tired, Anne. Let me drive so you can sleep,” said Cali smiling at me.
I was just sitting next to her and my head was full of question. It was really weird for me. It was my car and usually, I didn’t let her drive my car. But I don’t know why I cannot say no to her that day. So I took out my iPhone, listened to the music and fell asleep.

The sinners

When we arrived at Cali’s house, I saw Thania, Alma, Riesta, Lucy, and Bella. Cali invited them for pajamas party that night. We went to Cali’s bedroom and slet until midnight. At midnight, we started our pajamas party with ladies-talk. In the middle of our conversation, Thania heard a tapping on the door.
“Did you hear that, girls? There is someone tapping the door! Your servants?” she asked.
“Let me check it first!”
Cali walked to the door and when she opened the door, all the lights went out. I couldn’t see anything. Cali ran to us in the dark with the flashlight from her phone. Cali brought us to the backyard but a big hand covered my lips and nose so I cannot breathe. I passed out and when i woke up, me and all the girls were in a very dark and cold place. We had no idea where we were.
Cali pulled my pajama and started crying. Suddenly the lights turned on and I saw thousands of razor blade around our feet. When I looked across the sea of blades, I found a door with a knife as the handle, it means, your hand will bleed if you try to open the door. Bella said that she noticed 7 boards around us. If we want to get those boards, we must pull a rope and the board will fall so we can wade to that door.
We operated the board with one leg stepping on the razor blades. I didn’t care about them anymore, all i care was opening the door and hoping that the door can save me. I felt the blades stabbing my sandal and stick on my foot. I groaned and the tears came flowing from my eyes. After 10 minutes trying to reach that door, I finally got close to it. There was a stairs heading towards the door. I finally reached the stairs and I can feel nothing on my foot but pain. I saw my friends still struggling for their life but I was the only one who reached the door. I took down my pajama and enlace it to my hands. When I touched the door’s handle, the floor holding the pool of razors fell with my friends into nowhere. I started to cry but I thought to my slef that I must survive. So I opened the door and I can see nothing but darkness.

The Equinox

The door behind me shuts itself. I went forward and it started to fog, it wasn’t an ordinary fog, it suffocated me. When I woke up, I was sitting in a chair surrounded by knifes and swords. What’s worse, I was back in square one where my foot were surrounded by razor blades. I heard foot steps and I saw my friends STILL ALIVE WITH A NORMAL LEGS! And I heard Cali speaking.
“Hello darling, welcome to my pajamas party. How’s your leg? It hurts, doesn’t it? Oh you see our flip flop? Yes, there is a steel underneath. But you want to know why we do this to you, right?”
“I envy you; you are the only one with the unlimited property. You dont know how it feels to be your shadow. You’re stupid, pathetic! Everything you have is just your daddy’s treasure! So we will kill you and take everything you have!”
“Yeaa, I will be a couch potato in my own castle!”-Thania
“I will be a girl with unlimited boys!”-Bella.
“I will be a girl with unlimited money so I can buy anything that I want!”-Riesta.
“I will be the one who can reign over people with my money!”-Alma
“I will be a girl who stands alone without being your shadow, Anne!”- Cali.

I went straight to hell after those knifes stabed me. And I would live here until the day when everything was over because of my fault, being an arrogant person. So, starting from now, my nights would be a long nigth. I believed that my friends would be here too.

Thanks to Hutomo adhi (180410120068/D) Nata saputra (180410120098/E) for being my proof reader

1. Part 1https://www.dropbox.com/s/8zk4qxvvt0cnf24/The%20holy%20baby.m4a

2. Part 2.https://www.dropbox.com/s/8dshf2vvk9k8bdf/The%20sinners.m4a

3. Part 3.https://www.dropbox.com/s/xpvrqqxgp025lxm/The%20equinox.m4a

Thanks to: hutomo adhi (180410120068/D), Nata saputra (180410120098/E), A.K Prawira (2011), Alfian A, Ermaly A Erwinputri (F 2012)

2 thoughts on “7: A short prose

  1. 180410120068/D

    I like the idea where you tried to make some sort of twisted ending on your story. But with the limited explanation on each character in the story and limited words the story turned out to be a little bit weird. If only the introduction was longer or maybe if there was a conflict between them then the story can make more sense. One other thing that perhaps can help the story better is if you use different objects, I mean, you wrote razor blades twice. Beside razor blades, you used knifes and swords, they are all the same kind; they are sharp used to cut. If only there were another object like bear traps, maybe the story could be more thrilling.

    Word count: 123

    Like

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