The Disturber: A Short Prose

180410110127 / D

Summary : 14 visitors fight against 9 man from the ethnic group on a quiet forest.

Another lazy day, I just lay down on my favorite place that is quiet and something rarely came closeto this place. It is one of my activities that I usually do on the day like this, when the weather is fine and the sun rises high. I love this quiet place, kind of a good place to take a rest. But, in several days, a thing really bothered me, some people makes some noises near to this place. Usually, nobody dare to stay until this close. But on several days, some people come really close to my place, and make some noises on my sleep hour, and when I checkout to see what was happening, I found nothing except some trees fell to the ground.

I felt asleep for some minutes, and then some noises wake me up, just like yesterday. But, today I don’t wanttolost them, I just stay on my place and waiting for the right moment before I beat the thing that makes those noises.

“We take some rifles now. We could shot that tiger, and earn more money. ” I heard a man talks to his friend.

“Hahaha, that’s bullshit.”, another man responds.

Then some people laugh,

“I bet you’ll run. I’ll give all of my money that I have if you shot that tiger”

I think, there are more than three man over there, the voice of their foosteps and laugh told that. I just stay on my place, waiting for the right time and situation, when they come closer. Then the footsteps of those men stop when a man shouts.

“Hey people over there, are you parts of something that cause the destruction on this forest?”, a man shout firmly.

“Admit it, we know that”, another man shouts with the power of anger.

I’m seeking between the shrubs, see about what’s happening. I see two groups of men. One of those groups, who is the first group that came to this place brings some rifles and weapon, and then they’re yelling to the group that just came to this place.

“Who are you? Forest ranger?”, followed by some laughs.

“You guys destruct our forest, our place, our home”, said the man from another gang, with his firm voice, I thought he is their leader. Their clothes show that they are the ethnic group from this forest.

“Your forest? Your Place? Who do you think you are? Our boss own this area. You guys live illegally over here, all of you will be arrested”, told the man who bringsa rifle. There are about 13 men who stands behind this man. Meanwhile, the ethnic group consists of 9 men and they just bring some traditional weapon, and some blocks of wood.

“We live here for a long time. Our ancestors take care of this forest. You and your boss are the catalyst about all of the riot over this forest”

The distance between these groups really close right now, they don’t stop arguing.

“Listen, we don’t want any trouble here, you guys better came back to your people and tell them that all of you have to leave this place. Our boss own this forest now”

Then they fight each other, nine against fourteen, the keeper of their ancestor’s forest against the visitors who just came and destruct the forest.

I keep quiet on my place, it’s not the right time to show myself to them. If I come up right now, they will run, and I can’t attack one of them. I want to hurt one of them because they disturb me on the several days.

Initially, no one use their weapon on the fight, but when the visitors panic because the ethnic group really fast and strong, they start to use their rifle. One person was shot, and he died. All of the people around there don’t say anything and looks to the dead body. All of them really shocked.

“What are you doing? You just killed my people. You will pay for this”, said the leader of ethnic group.

Without any words, the man who hold the rifle shot the leader. Another man has killed. Then, a man from the ethnic group try to hit the man who hold the rifle by a block, but he can’t do that because another men just shot him. Three person has died. The remaining members of the ethnic groupdon’t say any words and can’t do anything.

“Hey, you guys still want to live huh? Just follow our instructions, and don’t do anything. Now, put your hands on your head and follow us”, the leaders of the visitors talk to the remaining ethnic group.

“Where are you going? It’s better to kill ‘em all”, said another man from the visitor group.

“Not right now, boss have to see this. He could give us more money”


I think it’s the time, I’ll better come out right now. I get up quickly, roaring and show myself in front of all the people. All of the people can’t say anything. They are panic, and some man try to shot me, but there’s no bullet that hit me. Finally, all of them run to save their life, but I don’t want to lost this opportunity. I run with all of my power and catch the visitors’ leader because he could not run faster than me. Something different happens on a place that usually quiet, four men died on that bright sunny day.

Thank you to Agung Prasetiarso that told and remind me about the deadline.

References :

– Taring, a short prose on Seringai’s album sleeve.

– Some newspaper and online media articles about Suku Anak Dalam in Jambi

919 Words

Link for dramatization.

2 thoughts on “The Disturber: A Short Prose

  1. Despite the plot is easy to guess, I am practically enjoying this story as whole. I am trying to imagine the distance from “this place” to “shrubs” until the main character hit the spot where the fight happens. I know you are focusing on the quarrel between “the visitors” and “the ethnic group” but it would be better if you use specific word to describe more about this ‘place’ in which the main character wait. The thing still bothering me is why fourteen and nine? Did you randomly choose this number or there is special meaning behind it? I like how you revised the horror theme in your reference to a story that contains moral within it. When nature wins against humans is one of my favorite moments. Sadly, we can only found this type of ending in a story.

    Naomi Maharani

    word count: 140


  2. 180410100152/A
    I think this short story is really good, writer uses ‘I’ as narrator, but I wonder what kind of people of ‘I’ because when I read this short story, I just think that the narrator is a special people who have special power or ability. Or the narrator is part of ethnic people? The way of writer tell or write the story is really good because I think it makes the reader feel curious about the narrator ‘I’. In this story narrator suddenly come to help ethnic people so that I conclude maybe ‘I’ is related to ethnic people because ‘I’ have same place with ethnic people’s place. And in the ending of this story there is a sad moment because people who do not guilty should die.
    Word count: 128


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