Suggestion of Hell : A Short Prose

180410120098 / E

Summary : A missing prince that caused problems and got killed by a Holy Knight.

Suggestion of Hell

Once upon a time there were 3 big kingdoms in Gilga Island. They were Longard, Wondlife, and Longuen. These kingdoms lived in piece for almost two hundred years because of the peace treaty that they have signed. The distraction of the peace treaty came when one of the kingdoms started to rebel and killed the other kingdom’s men. He was one of the King of Longuen’s children, Prince Bre. He hated that peace treaty and betrayed his country for his own purposes. The King that became very angry with his child, sent his cavalryman to capture the prince, but the prince escaped to a place where the witch lived. That Prince of Longuen asked for the witch guidance, he wanted an absolute power to make his own kingdom, and become the King, the only King of the island. Furthermore, on the following day when the cavalryman were coming back to the kingdom, Wondlife declared a war against Longuen. Even though the King of Longuen explained the situation for a couple of times, The King of Wondlife could not accept the loss of his men, and commanded one of his royal guards, Greeg to lead an attack to the city of Longuen. In just a week, Wondlife’s army could surround the castle of Longuen. King was pushed to surrender before the sun started to rise, so he asked for Longard help, to search for the prince and they agreed. King of Longard himself suddenly came to the Wondlife to meet the King. He explained again the situation calmly, The King accidently started to think clearly and finally they made a deal, if the missing prince could not be found in 3 days, Wondlife would kill the King of Longuen and attack Longard too. King of Wondlife withdraw his army and waited for the day. Moreover, the witch gave the prince a sacred weapon to destroy any obstacles that he would face later and reach the throne. The weapon has an abillity to protect the user and control anyone’s mind, the the Prince thanked the witch and went to his mistress’s home. King Longuen was furious because his army still did not find him. On the next day, the prince went to a waterfall and accidentally met the Wondlife’s army that was withdrawing from the battle, Greeg recognized if the one who was sitting by the waterfall was the Longuen’s missing prince, “A prince that made this bloodshed, destroyed the peace treaty, you stupid bastard, you will never be forgiven!!!” He shouted angrily. Greeg fought him without permission from the King. They fought voracious battle and the prince suddenly drew the sacred weapon for the first time. Greeg was shocked but he did not want to lose the battle. He used his deadly sword when trying to defeat the prince, but the weapon that was given by the witch is stronger than Greeg’s. Greed’s army was controlled by the weapon and started to attack Greeg. He was critically wounded and fled from the battle. Then, he informed his King about his battle against Prince Bre but the King got mad and said it was not suppose to be their problem, and Greed should go to the kingdom, not fighting the prince. Because of his action, he lose his duties and got executed, and just before it happened, he said to to the king “Dying in battle is one thing, but this…This is an ultimate disgrace…”. Therefore, two days left before the day, and because Longuen and Longuard army still did not find any traces from the prince, King of Longuard used Elena’s power, she was the King’s sister, to find the prince. Elena was a white magic user, he could find anything that she wanted and cure any black magic effects. Finally they knew where the prince was hiding all this time, and went down to the waterfall but they could not come near the prince, the sacred weapon has made a barrier and protected him from anyone. Both king went back to Elena and asked for a way out. Elena told them to find The Holy Knights, the only knights that could defeat the sacred weapon’s power. “ There are 5 holy knights on this Gilga island and one of them is in Wondlife kingdom, daughter of the King, Vega. But is very hard to get a help from him, the one who hates my son” King of Longuen said sadly. They discussed about the advice and decided to ask for a help to King of Wondlife on the promised day. Kings of each kingdoms met and asked where the prince was but King of Longuen and Longuard told about the problem that they were facing. King of Wondlife rejected to let her daughter get involved into the problem, but finally because of his wife’s advice and Vega wanted to help, it was actually to end the war, King of Wondlife agreed. Vega, one of the Holy Knights came all by herself to the waterfall and used Holy Word, white magic to netralize any negative effects. The prince was surprised, and started to draw his sword. Both of them did not want to give up, they fought very hard until Vega got a chance to cut the prince’s right leg and swang her sword to his neck. The prince surrendered, and kept on saying “I’m sorry”, then he died from the blood loss. Three of The Kings who were following Vega came up and thanked Vega for capturing the missing prince. Then, the Kings re-assigned the peace treaty and promised to help each other as long as they could do that.

Thanks to : Sherly Fitria (D) and Hutomo Adhi (D) for helping me to create the storyline.
Word Count : 940 Words

3 thoughts on “Suggestion of Hell : A Short Prose

  1. 180410120146/G

    I’m interested with the sacred weapon which has an ability to control people’s mind. I think that it is such a unique and unexpected plot. Firstly, I think that it will be a war between the kingdoms because at the beginning of the story, it shows that they have a treaty. Hence I thought that it will return to a big war due to the rebellion. For me, this fiction is easy to read and has an interesting story which make me wanted to read this until the end of the story. But the end of the story is such a little too brief if compared with the beginning which more detail telling the kingdoms, for me. Over all, this story is interesting.

    Word count: 123


  2. 180410120073

    For me who helped this guy to write the story, it is out of my imagination. An unique one with unexpected story line especially when greeg found the prince’s location then he got defeated. He told his King, but the King gone mad and executed Greeg. It really is a disgraceful action, but if only i was the King i would not kill greeg but tell the other kings to end the war faster, that was one scene that make this story so special and interesting.


  3. 180410120068

    Though this story is quite lame, but complicity makes me want to read till end of the text. If only this story was a thousand or two thousand words the complicty would be cleared and probably would make it more interesting.


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