Loss: A short prose


Summary: A girl who blames herself for the incident in her family makes her mother lost her family.

Lysa’s eyes look at the picture frame on the wall of her room. A photograph keeps reminding her of the happy memories she had been through. The memories with people that used to make her days colored will never happen again. Lysa looks at the picture with bleary eyes. There are deep sadness and regret in her eyes. Lysa’s tears suddenly stream down her cheeks. Her shoulders shook. Lysa cries uncontrollably. Her crying sound comes out of her room. Until finally, Lysa’s mother who is knitting a pink sweater in the family room, which is located right next to Lysa’s room, walks to her room. Knocking sound is heard from the door of her room, followed by her mother’s sound which is calling her name, but Lysa does not want to open the door. All she wanted is to be alone. Door knocking sound continues to ring until Lysa’s crying has not been heard.

Lysa’s mother returns to her seat in the family room. She takes a deep breath and exhales it. She glances at a framed picture of two teenage girls, who are holding their hand and smiling, in the desk which is located in the corner of the room. Under the photo, there are written two names, Lysa and Lyka. She tries to recall her mind when the portrait was taken. When her mind is trying to recall event in the portrait, Lysa’s door opens. Lysa comes out of her room. “Lysa, finally you’re out of your room. Lunch has prepared at the table, dear. Let’s go eat,” Her mother says to Lysa. “I am not hungry, mom. Just go to eat first,” she answers while passing into bathroom. Her mother just bows sluggish. She remembers the incident that has made her daughter being like this. She knows no one to be blamed for the incident. That was not Lysa’s mistake or hers. This twist of fate has to be experienced by her family. She sincerely accepts God’s entire destiny. Suddenly, she cries. At the same time, Lysa is coming out of the bathroom. Seeing her mother cries, Lysa just passes towards her room, while holding tightness that she feels in her chest.

Formerly, her family did not like this. In the past, when her father and her sister were still alive, Lysa and her mother never cried like this, but now, they are alone. Her father and sister left them forever. Since the incident, Lysa prefers to be alone and cries in her room. She does not want to go to school. In fact, she is also no longer playing with her friends. The accident occurred about four months ago, when they were on an outing to Bogor. The night before the accident happened, Lysa asked her father to invite their family to go to Bogor. In the next morning, when they almost reached their destination, the car driven by Lysa’s father crashed into the car in the front which stopped suddenly. Lysa’s father car was destroyed by hard collision. Lysa and her family were taken to the hospital. Fortunately, Lysa and her mother only suffered minor injuries in the head in a collision with a hard seat in front of them. While her father and her sister who sat in the front suffered injuries that were so severe that they eventually died.

Since the incident, Lysa always blames herself. Lysa assumes she is the cause of her father and sister’s death. Lysa considers herself in making her mother lost her husband and daughter. She punishes herself by going away from her family and her friends. She does not realize that the thing which she does only added to her mother grief. The thing will not solve the problem at all.

Having locked herself in her room since noon, Lysa decides to go out of the room that afternoon. Her mother who sees her daughter walking toward the front door of the house, immediately calls her.” Lysa, where are you going, dear?” She asks to Lysa. “I just want to look for fresh air outside, mom.” Lysa says while walking out of the house. Hearing Lysa’s answer, there is little happiness felt by the mother. The day that has been very long awaited by her mother finally comes. Her daughter is no longer locked herself in her room.

The air in the afternoon is good. The wind is blowing breeze. The road is quite quiet. There is only the sound of children laughing from the field which is not far from Lysa’s house. Lysa walks down the sidewalk. There is an unusual feeling in her heart. Quite a while ago she does not have an afternoon walk since the death of her father and sister. Formerly, when her sister was still alive, Lysa often had an afternoon walk while buying food sold in front of the housing complex with her sister. She is remembered by her sister’s figure. Lysa misses Lyka . She cries again. She feels pain in her heart. She keeps walking and even running. She does not realize that there is a car coming from the opposite direction. Suddenly, there is a thump sound.

Lysa wakes up, but the circumstance surrounding her is blurry. In front of her, she sees two people whom she knows. Two people are missed by her. Lysa does not believe what she sees, but she immediately runs toward them. Lysa is absurdly happy, but she does not realize that at that time, there is a woman in home waiting for her return. She also does not realize that now she has made the woman lost her another daughter whom she has.

Word count: 942

Link for work dramatization.

8 thoughts on “Loss: A short prose

  1. 180410120077 / D

    The plot of this story is really an attractive one. By creating an atmosphere of a Simple-Blamed live. Lysa, the main character of the story, also shows the attraction to the story. Where she finally, died of a road accident in the end, proves that she is “mentally damaged”. I believe she believes that being blamed is the truth, as the story goes on; I had noticed that “the output” of the story is the thing that is “having an entity”. It is about the entity of believing in self rather than in others. Self described as family and self. It is to say that family is the most important thing in the world.


  2. 180410110171/A

    The story its self actually quite interesting in my opinion. By presenting two main character, Lysa and her mother, the story can be build into a dramatic one. The problems having by the characters are actually not quite simple too, as we can see that it will lead toward a sad ending. I said that because there are not any other active character other than Lysa and her mother, so that the problems have to be resolve by their own self, but from the story we can see that Lysa never have an actual conversation with her mother. So it is quite difficult to resolve the problem its self.

    Word count: 108


  3. Yosef Dadi Abdullah

    Tragic story is always interested.i think, this short story has a cool plot. What’s more the character is very strong which means the majority of whole story is character. Lysa has an important role in the plot of the story; in each paragraph the role character of Lysa is terribly influential and and it makes an interested story. Furthermore, the setting is less clear.


  4. 180410120083/B

    Reading the first paragraph made me want to keep reading because I want to know what happened with Lysa and what will happen next. I feel bad for Lysa; she must be very sad, so is her mother. Lysa is mourning too much, I think, because after 4 months has passed, she is still blaming herself for causing the accident. 60 But that scene gives different impression in this story; it builds up the mourning-atmosphere happening in the story. Plus, it connects the opening, the climax, and the ending. The story has a sad ending, well, it is sad from the beginning actually, and the Lysa’s mourning scene suits well with the plot that the author wants to tell. The plot itself is interesting.

    (125 words)


  5. 180410120090/E

    By reading your work’s title and the summary I know that it will be a tragic story. Anyway, I like the way you build the characterization of the main character. I think you create the strong characterization because you get my every feelings when I read your story. I know that Lysa cannot be blame for the cause of her sister and father death, I pity her. On the other hand I also feel sad to her mother, the way Lysa treats her mother after the death make me annoyed to her. I cannot imagine if this story happens in a real life, however everything can happens in the story.


  6. 1804 1012 0127 / G

    this simple story along with the character who feel miserable (about herself) end up made the story interesting. the way how the main character, Lysa, build by telling in detail of what happened makes reader curious what will happened in next scene.By the end of story, I assume Lysa’s character has double personality. Although the setting of place a little bit unclear, overall it help to deliver the story and reader to picture the situation.


  7. In my opinion the story is good enough. The conflict of character Lysa and her mother makes this story grew deeper. But I think the story is too detail. I can imagine how the plot will go on when I read the summary. “A girl who blames herself for the incident in her family makes her mother lost her family.” this story clearly tells what makes Lysa sad and this story tells about Lysa sadness. I think the story will be more interesting if the author make some twist.


Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s