I Should Have Known: short prose

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summary: a young lady is obsessed with a stranger that turns out exactly what her mother is thinking.

After the college prom, Dan, my charming date, take me home. I am about to go inside my house but I am taking a moment to look at Dan’s seductive green eyes once again before he leave. But another face distract me, he is standing on the opposite side of the street. I feel like I knew him before, I recognized that red head guy. So who is he?

Next morning I ask my mom about this guy and told her how I feel about him. She says, “Oh honey! Did Dan do something last night? You are attracted to a complete stranger that you think you’re old friend“. I rolled my eyes, she is overreacting too much “I don’t know darling, as I know, no one is moving around here and you never have red hair friend. So don’t get too close to him, he’s probably a serial killer.” But he’s too cute to be one and a great one to be a weirdo. But my curiosity is on so I would dig him up.

I start with asking some friends of mine and then the whole college by putting him on “whose glass slipper?” it’s a college website where people anonymously could found out their crush they are searching for. it’s not working for me, apparently. Am I hallucinating? I’m pretty sure I’m not because I didn’t drunk last night. I hate to be fail with my investigation so I extended the searching at places where I used to hang out but it’s still no. Is this cutie an anti-social person who only go out on midnight, I’m frustrated.” Are you thinking of me?” I know this heavy low voice behind me, but you’re not. “hey, Dan.” I’m avoiding his question. “ you don’t answer my phone and reply my text, are you bored already?” ugh, I hate this obsession, but come to think of it he’s right, i’m abandoned him. “ I’m sorry, i’m not bored with you and it’s silent so I didn’t notice.” I explained. “I see.hmm.. it’s rare to see you hang out alone here, are you waiting for someone? A man?” now he’s observing me, ughh.. please. “ I am waiting for umm.. my mom, she wants me to go shopping with her.” I lied. “I thought you don’t like to do it with your mom, my sister does not.” Okay, now he’s being a mister know-me-all. “no, I like to shop with my mom and i’m not your sister.” I answered sarcastically. “hey, I’m sorry, i did not that way. Okay as a apology, let me buy you something, what would you like, ice cream, waffle or cheese burger? Ugh think of them, make me hungry.” He put words up in my mouth too? I’m done with him. “No, I’m not hungry and I’m in a hurry right now, I’d better get going now.” As I’m ready to leave he holds my arm,” let me take you to your mom, okay.” That’s it, my patient is over, “Dan, I’m a grown up young lady, I don’t need you to take me to my mom like i’m an old lady.” Afterwards I see the red stranger I’m looking for, he’s watching me again, his eyes are focusing on me like he’s hypnotizing me. I try to get closer but he’s run away.

I chase him, this is my only chance to get to know my Cinderella. He’s crossing the traffic light, it’s going be red in 5 seconds. I don’t care I keep running suddenly I hear this noisy sound and a motorcycle hit me. I try to open my eyes and I see the red stranger clearly as i’m going to ask his name he cut me by saying, “ that’s what you get for taking Dan to prom.” “ Damn it, I hate when she’s right.”

thank you to Ferlanti Nailasuffa as my proofreading.

reference:
this story is coming from desperation of out of ideas.

word count: (643)

link for dramatization: will be sent later.

6 thoughts on “I Should Have Known: short prose

  1. It is an interesting short prose actually. The narrator whose also the first person of the story successfully brings the curiosity to me as the reader. I hardly find the climax of the story but i think from the beginning until the end, the main character always gives suspicious conditions which lead to climax in overall story. The last paragraph explained the identity of the stranger but did not revealed enough.

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  2. 180410120127 / G

    I understand the point of this story but I don’t really get the story line. Some parts is missing in this story. it has unclear setting and unclear characterization for each character, even if there’s one mysterious character, there’s one way to build that mysterious character. Dan’s characterization is not completely revealed yet his character lead into the mysterious character characterization. I hope this story has sequel.

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  3. 180410130042
    Class B

    Actually, I don’t really understand about the story, especially about the story line. Maybe it’s because a too long third paraghraph, so that the reader couldn’t catch what’s the author’s point, or maybe actually it didn’t have a clear story line, because it’s really hard to decide where the climax is. The story goes to the ending without an emotional climax of the main character. Maybe it’s what’s the author wanted, to make the reader didn’t notice when the ending is. Well, If it’s true, It’s interesting with its own way, good work!

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  4. 180410120142/G

    I laughed to the max when I read this story. I think this story is so funny! The woman was so curious about the man who has red hair. Everyday she always asking who is the red hair guy, until she was being rude to her boyfriend. She does not care about her boyfriend who is always watching her, just focus on the stranger who obviously she did not know at all. And finally a motorcycle hit her. It makes me laugh at all, just follow the stranger and eventually got hit and her efforts became useless. Why is she so wanted to know about the stranger? Whether because he has a good-looking face? She does not care about the things around him. It was entertaining. Good Work!

    Word Count: 128

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