Summary: This story tells about a teenager who sacrifices his companionship because of anxiety disorder.
He was looking passionate and sharply glaring his own lyrics several times; his fingers were not stopping to hop up and down on his keyboard. He was James, a teenager who spent half of his life by expressing his talent in music through song lyrics. Along with his cousin, he straight engaged and pursued his hobby in music. Every Sunday morning he would never pass his routines singing in the Church.
James was terribly unnerved with his friend’s talent, Brian. He was so competent in mixing and matching some classical songs into a modern masterpiece harmonization. On several occasion he attempted to watch his performance.
“Oh Jesus, I’m genuinely stuck on you. What an extraordinary performance!” said James.
“Thanks, dude. Do you like it?”
“Of course. It’s magnificent.”
The day turned to the beginning of their proximity. Having similarities in talents and interests made their companionship become stronger. In the spare time, they honed their vocal continuously and determined making a vocal group.
“Don’t you think it’s quite boring dude?” conceived James.
“Yeah, we must get something unique to explore our talent.”
“Mmm saying about that, how about street singers?” offered him confidently.
“Street singers? What a brilliant idea!”
Since that day they started their new profession as street singers. Over two years they sang in a small alley near their headquarters. They tried to entertain people living there.
The day was not like the previous day. They fortunately grasped the luck. The old man, who was accidentally passing by, was stunned on their skills. Without any doubt, he offered to orbit them; however, they could not give him the feedback instantly. They were so pleased to hear that because their dream slowly became true. Two days later Brian rang the old man.
They frequently raised their head on TV and began facing their new life. In a minute they got popularity and are known by many people. They started reaching their fame. However, when they had a lot of fans all over the world, James got something changes in him.
In the first performance in front of crowd people, both James and Brian really enjoyed their show. Smile and laughter were constantly reflected on their face even they were very surprised with public reaction on them. Nonetheless in the middle of his popularity, James was aware there was something bizarre in him.
He remained telling Brian that he was alright notwithstanding he felt and realized there was something wrong and odd in him. When they held a show in California, he began clenching his hands in the backstage. His body chilled. He could not breathe like anyone does. His vision blurred as if there was no life in front of him. Everything was dark. He could not describe what he felt at the time. It was like adrenaline just went through his body. He is exhausted. He tried struggling with his abnormality but this anxiety made him trapped in his own fear.
“What the hell are you doing, James?” Brian said.
“Mmm nothing. I just get little bit nervous.” stated him.
“Stay cool man. We’ve done this for many times, right?”
“Right,” he replied.
Initially their show ran smoothly. Their fans enjoyed every song they sang. However in the middle of their show James could not say a word. He was sweating. The more often he heard his fans screaming, the more he caught in his anxiety. He began grasping his microphone firmly and staring at the stereo. The thump increasingly made him trembling. He could not see and hear anything anymore. He felt his mind’s gone blank and choose to leave the stage. Both the audience and Brian suddenly startled with his act. The show was instantly stopped. The audience was upset looking this fact.
“James, what’s going on? You have ruined this show and made people out there disappointed. Please think on it!” said Brian.
“I’m really sorry. I have no intention to do this but I feel apprehension and dread on myself. I can’t control this anymore,” said James.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m really depressed with this situation. Every time we perform in front of crowd people, I always feel tense and jumpy. I can’t handle this. I have to quit from this group.” he answered mournfully.
“Are you kidding me, James? Listen up! We have started this with much effort,” said Brian peevishly.
“Don’t you remember? This is your dream and you have grasped it. You can immediately solve this symptom, James. Trust me! There is another way dude. Keep your chin up please!”
“I’m really apologize. I can’t continue this anymore,” He answered regretfully.
“You will never know how I am struggling with this disorder.”
James immediately walked away and left Brian. It was the last day they met. They tried to build their life respectively. Brian made up his mind to forget the past and focused on solo career; while James tended to stand apart and live in lonely place. In a short letter James tried to express his apology to Brian.
This is the hardest letter that I have ever written. I feel truly terrible about the decision that I have made recently. I know my decision have ruined not only your dream but also your life. I am really sorry for my mistakes, Brian. I have no intention at all to make you disappointed. However I can’t do anything with this disorder. It slowly kills me.
You are my dear friend. I hope we remain to maintain our companionship. I genuinely value our friendship and really expect we can continue our rewarding association in spite of my egoism. Please accept my apology and give me a chance to make it up.
Since then, James waited for his response. He understood Brian could not hide his pique and disappointment at him since he had pioneered the group in earnest way. On the sidelines of his convalescence he could only write lyrics to make his amends.
Thank a lot to:
1. Fauzia Zahira (my classmate) who has suggested me to improve the conflict of this story.
2. Fetty Hidayatul Usmi (my friend) who has suggested me to delete some characters in this story.
3. Muhammad Syukri Abdillah (my friend) who has helped me to draw the story’s dramatization.
Jonathan’s life story
Words Count: 1000