Summary: A poem about a girl that almost friendzoned by his crush and receive a help by something.
As I walked to the edge of the sea, the hopeless wind was blowing stronger
The blue sea, blue sky, blue sand, blue fishes, blue clouds, blue me
The waves were crying harder and harder as it turned into dark blue
I saw my hand turning blue…. my emptiness building up
Always expected more than what I thought I could reach
Our togetherness can not combine me and you to be one
To be more than what now we were
To be a beautiful red pinkish pearl, not deep blue dark sea
Thinking why my all my pictures about us being together, never be together
While it was you, the adorable one, the unreachable one
The cool, navy, strong, expensive…
Being next to you never fill this emptiness
A great big, hard, strong wall, between our connection, will forever be my enemy
Got to crush that, got to remove it
My knowledge is more that just knowing what to do
My heart will never be able to do it
Sailing to find the answer, to be the answer
Believing God knows what’s best, I believe I am trying hard
Just like them, the other candidates, I am trying hard, long to be with you
To be more than this, to have a special connection
I want to be your special on in my special way
Again, my knowledge more than just knowing what to do
My need more than it, my desire of you
I could imagine how easy to be anyone but me
And then you, the reason why I keep trying and changing
The great you, who always looking at the far far away sky, saying there must be something beneath the sky,
Fading out, pulled by another one..
What I heard, what I believe
People say good match good, perfect match perfect, sky match sea, mountains matches green grass
And big, strong, great tree will never match a little unattractive flower
I never be one of your list, not even your grocery list, not even your neighbor list
Sharing feelings will never be enough you said
I go on pretending I will be helpful just to be able to stay by your side
This awful thing beside you, you are the almost perfect creature, is trying hard..
I knew from the first time this will be disgusting
Looking at the mirror, seeing my own reflection
Huh, how awful
Searching beneath myself, that, so dark
Words and sentences only make me look worse
Cause I always wearing a cheerful mask, thinking I am a good actress
Revealing the truth always hurts
Accepting those hard facts
Just like trying to learn how to fly
Until, when I jumped, jumped again, with wings of hope, feather of confidence, I fly
I thought I was flying alone
But there’s something behind me
A light approaching
Warming my wings
A dim little unshiny light coming through my darkness
Touching the broken sensor of hope
Trying to pull me out, to light me up
Saying, “this is your fault”
So I’m the one at fault? I knew it.
I should never be a human being without human feeling
Without humany things, without human’s sense
I knew it, I shouldn’t sway those feelings away
I should have run faster and fly higher
That was what the light said, the miracle, the magic
And then, the new me was born
Together with my new cells, my stronger molecules
I am new me, reborn with new brain new lungs
I can even breath on the water
My heart beats faster and harder
I can feel the rhyme of me, new me
I am a great one, I am
Being full spirited by miracle
I should have known it from the first
Miracle, magic, my answer
My hope, my light, my drug, mine!
I can make you mine!
The wave brought him here, so easily
Wave of my words, while the wind of my greatness was blowing
The shiny warm sun of my attractiveness
See? You could never decline it, no one can!
How does it feel, to be tied withmy charm?
Goodbye, old us.
Thank you to Noviyanti Katerina and Radisti Dwikalisti who proofread my work.
Thank you to Iron & Wine ‘s songs as the soundtrack when I am making this poem.
Word Count: (735)