A Foolish Man: A Short Prose


Summary: This story tells about a foolish man who was willing to sacrifice his life for his beloved sister.

The entire room was filled with black smoke, my mom and dad tried hard to get me out and Natalie from our bedrooms. Yes, that was one thing I remembered most of the incident ten years ago that happened to my little family.

Dad, Mom, all of my friends makes fun of me, they laugh at me, and they think I was a born idiot. I know, I was not born an idiot, I can still feel a sense of affection for my little sister, Natalie. I can still feel how to share with anyone else and I can still feel affection for Jane, the little girl that I liked when I was in elementary school.

Mom, fortunately I still have a good friend who will accept my current condition, he is Hans. He was an owner of the coffee shop once bad boy who always hires prostitutes. But I know why he did this; he did it because he has not found a woman who deserves to become companions of his life.

Mom, Dad, three days ago I suffered a wide variety of exciting things, do you want to hear? Well, I passed three days with very strong, and you must know that I am a boy who is not easy to cry, I always smile. My smile is a very meaningful moment for me, I feel happier than usual. I do not care though others assume I am stupid because of this smile.

As usual, on Sunday I always sit together with Hans in Huntsville hill, I always sing the song that Jane always sings with piano accompaniment while we were still in elementary school. I always thought that Jane would become an accomplished pianist and also a famous singer. I hope what I thought would be true.

Shortly, Hans left me alone on the hill; he should keep his coffee shop. Mom, can you guess what happened? Someone walked for a distance and carried large suitcases; she had a beautiful face and sparkling eyes then she used good clothes. I also ran up to her, yes, she was Jane, she left Huntsville and she became a famous singer and pianist and finally she returned to Huntsville. She looked frightened and refused my existence, perhaps because I look very strange and very idiot so that she was reluctant just to say hello. It was okay because her return already made ​​me very happy.

Dad, I was very happy that day, I ran aimlessly until both my shoes off. I did not care what other people say, I was just thinking of how to start a conversation with Jane. Ah, I forgot, that day is Natalie’s birthday; I had to look for gifts for her.

I got a gift for Natalie; I hope she would accept my gift. But, when I gave a gift to Natalie, she looked angry. She was angry because she saw my legs were without a mat. She looked very hates me; she did not receive the gifts I already bought from my work as a baker itself. On Monday morning I did not see Natalie. Perhaps she had already left for school. While selling bread, I continue to look towards the students passing by to go to the school gates, but I still do not see Natalie. When the recess bell, I overheard a conversation between two students who said that Natalie looks pale while in the classroom. I also left my shop and ran into the school gates, all teachers and school keeper also told me not to enter. They think I am just an idiot who claimed to be a Natalie’s brother. By the end I was crying and screaming that I am is the older brother of Natalie. And so I brought her to the infirmary. At the same time, I saw Jane whimpered in pain.

Hans stated that Jane suffered pulmonary edema disease. I was very sad to hear that, the girl that I loved since elementary school should have such diseases. Afew hours later the doctor told about the diagnosis was declared that of Natalie suffered heart problems, she should get a donor heart.

Mom, Dad, on Tuesday I was ready to do a donor heart surgery for Natalie, I have told to Hans to give a gift to Natalie, and pass on my regards to Jane in order to rapidly retrieve.

Mom, dad, the idiot man had already finished gives his heart to his little sister. I can see Natalie had fallen asleep on the bed. I also could see that Jane had surgery. Hi, I saw a pair of my shoes attached at her bedside.

I do not know how of Natalie condition, whether she always healthy or contrary? I am sure Natalie will be able to live out her days without me, without a brother who has mental retardation. Dad, Mom, today I feel much calmer besides both of you, in this peaceful place. End.


I would put this on my thank you notes: Adelia Putri Ramadhanti, my best friend, give idea in the beginning of the story.



Word count: (827)

Link for work dramatization.

7 thoughts on “A Foolish Man: A Short Prose

  1. Adelia Putri Ramadhanti
    180410120003 / A

    I like the plot in this story is because there is variation of the plot in the story that makes me read it repeatedly. The narrator or the main character tells about his life after several days before he died. At first I thought that he tells his story only to the reader, but evidently the narrator tells his own story to his dead father and mother. But I am confused on paragraph 11 and 12 that is told that the main character is dead because he donates his heart to his sister but I wonder why paragraph 11 is different. In the paragraph 11 he can still see his sister’s condition, but in the paragraph 12, he cannot see his sister whereas the two paragraphs tell that the main character is dead.


  2. Yosef Dadi Abdullah

    This short story is interested, i think. In the whole plot, the character “I”, only show his point of view which show that he said i am an idiot man. Besides, the relationship between the family has a bad chemistry and that make a story is more life. Furthermore, the story uses “I” for the main character; it makes like there is a person who tells his problem to me privately. The plot is grooved. Additionally, the plot follows the character.


  3. 180410120049 / A

    It’s a deep story, you have done a very good work on it. While read your story, I was feeling like read someone’s long letter, and I never guess that he was already dead when the reader read this story. Your story is utterly sweet, it makes me think about the main character’s sincerity. Since the story is based from the main character’s point of view, I could not imagine how does he looks like based from other character’s point of view. Actually, I was curious about other character’s opinion and point of view about the main character but overall it’s a good story.


  4. To: Adelia Putri Ramadhanti
    Thanks for posting a comment on my story short, I will give a little explanation in paragraph 11, I tried to tell when “I” donated his heart to his sister, in this section the soul “I” still be near his sister, so he could see his sister sleep. In paragraph 12, I am trying to display the story that “I” was told the incident three days ago with his parents in the tomb, so he did not know his sister continuance of her life. I hope these explanations could clarify this short story.

    To: Yosef Dadi Abdullah
    Thanks for posting a comment on my story short, I hope you like the story that I made, you may be fooled when reading this short story for the first time. When you read, it was told directly to you, but the real character of the “I” was telling his parents who had been dead. Once again thank you for your comments.


  5. To: Aliffia Nur Rohmawati

    Thank you for posting a comment on my story short, as far as I tell the character “I” as a mentally retarded man, but he has a sincere heart, I actually want to tell even further so that you can know more about how the point of view, the other characters on the character of “I “, and I purposely made this story takes place just three days to make it more concise and clearer day by day before he died and then tells the story of his life three days ago with his parents.


Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s